“Arnold graduated high school and moved onto college, majoring in Anthropology and minoring in Psychology, but soon grew bored of the general environment and dropped out, using the rest of the money he’d saved to plan an extensive personal tour of Europe and Asia, sightseeing and backpacking crosscountry by day and sleeping in hostels by night”
2. Gerald Johanssen
“Gerald Johanssen chose a more traditional route and is currently majoring in Business at one of the nation’s top universities. It was very important to him to plan a path that would make his family proud, but he enjoys it as well. He plays basketball for the school team and throws fantastic dorm parties in his free time.”
3. Helga Pataki
“After going through a rather embarrassing goth phase, Helga Pataki at some point decided that the world was actually pretty nice if she didn’t spend all her time hating everything and everyone. She has eased herself into a more comfortable and calming lifestyle filled with exercise balls, yoga, and self-expression.”
4. Stinky Peterson
“Stinky Peterson’s family was deeply affected by the post-911 climate in america, as a renewed sense of patriotism spread like wildfire through the country. The Petersons, an already very right-wing family, became almost obsessively passionate about supporting the US military in its efforts to extinguish the enemy, and Stinky knew very early on that he would not have much choice but to enlist when he was of age. As a very simple boy, he didn’t really have much of an opinion about the ordeal, but as of now he is doing very well in service and ascending in rank very quickly.”
- South Korean lawmakers have voted to impeach President Park Geun-hye over a corruption scandal. She'll be suspended from office.
- Donald Trump will remain an executive producer on NBC's "The Celebrity Apprentice" while he's president.
- John Glenn, a pioneering astronaut and the first American to orbit the Earth, has died at 95. Godspeed, Glenn 🚀🇺🇸
- Uber finally laid out hard rules for riders: No guns, sex, or barfing, please 🚗❌