1. DO bring the creepiest doll you can find to intimidate your opponents.
2. DON’T spend hours crafting a hat shaped like a ring your team will never win.
3. DO go parking lot scooter skiing.
4. DON’T shave a bridge into your head.
5. DO get an awesome nickname.
6. DON’T have that nickname be “Hipster Streaker.”
Taking off your clothes is so mainstream.
7. DO party so hard that the handcuffs come out to play.
8. DON’T use those handcuffs as weapons.
9. DO wear two killer Bronco statues on your shoulders.
10. DON’T wear gaudy number-glasses to a ceremony honoring a recently deceased athlete.
11. DO bedazzle your foam finger.
12. DON’T bedazzle your face, shirt, and fake ram horns.
13. DO wear a fake mustache to honor Jeff Fisher if you’re an adorable girl.
14. DO wear a fake mustache to honor Jeff Fisher if you’re an adorable girl. (So important, it had to be said twice.)
15. DON’T wear a fake mustache if you have a bedazzled face, shirt, and fake ram horns.
16. DO reimagine Elvis as a character in the Green Lantern universe.
17. DON’T take investment advice from this guy.
FINAL SCORE: Seattle 27 - Dallas 7
18. DO take a break from your job in the Blue Man Group to watch your team play.
19. DON’T take a break from your job on the Death Star to watch your team play.
Vader doesn’t play that shit.
20. DO look identical to Kevin from The Office.
21. DON’T look identical to a hipster douchenozzle.
22. DO be surprised and hurt when your team loses a heartbreaker.
23. DON’T be surprised and hurt when your wife leaves you upon seeing what you wore to the game.
24. DO wear a disguise if you’re a Jaguars fan.
25. DON’T do meth.
26. NOT EVEN ONCE.
- We've compiled an extensive (but not exhaustive) list of lies, exaggerations, and bullshit from Trump's first 100 days in office 💯🗒
- Infowars founder Alex Jones was dealt a legal blow after a judge ruled in favor of his ex-wife in the custody battle of their three children.
- Beginning in 2018, prescription drugs will be free for anyone under the age of 25 in Ontario, Canada, says the government 💊🇨🇦
- President Trump can order himself a Coke with the simple push of a red button installed at his desk in the Oval Office 🔴