1. Dontari Poe Got Romantic With Roger Goodell
Dontari: I didn’t expect to feel this way…
Dontari: It’s the hair. It’s so… Red. I can’t help myself.
2. The Browns Drafted Brandon Weeden, The Oldest Player Ever Drafted
3. AdaRn Schefter Made His Triumphant Return
Twitter’s favorite ESPN-imitating troll was back giving fake news. His mayhem wasn’t as wide spread as the last time, but both Jets and Browns fans freaked out for a second, which is pretty cruel really. Do those two fan bases really need more pain?
5. Melvin Ingram And Roger Goodell Had An Awesome Handshake
But then Chevy Chase paid them to teach him how to do it and they both felt like whores. It was surprisingly sad.
6. Andrew Luck Became The Really Goofy Face Of The Indianapolis Colts
7. No Seriously, He Was Really Goofy
8. Like “Asked His Older Sister’s Best Friend To Prom” Goofy
9. Like Calls Roger Goodell “Rog” Goofy
10. Like “The Living Embodiment Of The ‘40 Year Old Virgin’ Poster” Goofy
- Protests outside a Donald Trump rally in New Mexico turned violent Tuesday night as demonstrators threw rocks and bottles at police officers.
- The Afghan Taliban has picked an extremist scholar as its successor to leader Mullah Mansour, who was killed in a U.S. drone strike last week.
- Twitter will no longer count links, @names, and GIFs toward its 140-character limit. You can also retweet yourself now.