I Spent 16 Hours At A Captain America Movie Marathon

Here's what that's like....

Thursday May 5th, 2016 marked the release of Marvel’s newest film, Captain America: Civil War. Three of my friends and I decided to attend an AMC marathon which included all of the Marvel films in which Captain America is a star. Here are my thoughts on the matter.

5:00 A.M.

Wow this is an ungodly hour to go to the movies. The marathon doesn’t start until 7, but there is a consensus among the group that being there early enough to choose the seats our butts will become so familiar with is worth arriving early. My roommate and I hit the road.

5:15 A.M.

Not even going to think about doing this without coffee and food. Starbucks and McDonald’s are in order. Neither of the the drive-thrus have any customers, because it is basically still the middle of the night.

6:00 A.M.

Barely anyone is waiting to watch the films. A small group of us lines up in front of the escalators that lead up to the theater. A puzzled janitor asks us why we are all waiting in the middle of a closed mall lobby.

6:30 A.M.

We are allowed to be seated now. A worker turns on the escalator and pulls back the gate. We shuffle quietly upwards. I am surprised there is no stampede, given that almost all the viewers are decked out in some kind of themed gear.

6:35 A.M.

A man who takes his job very seriously barks instructions at us with more energy than is humanly possible. We receive a lanyard which looks like Cap’s shield with our schedule on the back, a surprisingly heavy duty medal which can be switch to Team Cap or Team Iron Man (My first ever medal for completing a marathon) and a little pin, the image is split between Cap and Stark.

7:00 A.M.

Captain America: The First Avenger begins very promptly and unceremoniously. We’re excited but also still pretty tired. Something about getting up before dawn and then sitting in a dark room doesn’t convince the body it’s time to be awake. I watch with joy. I forgot how good of a movie it really was. When Cap emerges from his transformation chamber all hunky and buff I nearly faint.

9:04 A.M

By our first break I am already quite sick of being seated. I rush off to the restroom to empty out the early morning Venti Iced Coffee. Mr. Serious Worker asks a couple of trivia questions for prizes, but the greatest prize of all seems to be an empty bladder and leg circulation so I don’t wait around.

9:30 A.M

The Avengers is set to begin. I am slightly more awake than I was an hour ago, but my stomach is rumbling. Should have had a bigger breakfast. The movie starts right on time. We have a schedule to keep. I fantasize about sleeping with the villainous Loki for most of the movie.

11:53 A.M.

Our first “meal” break begins. We have over an hour for this one, but my routine has already become to rush to the restroom immediately. We enjoy a nice lunch at Piada, and I load up on another 16 oz of iced coffee. One more trip to the urinal before we go back in, just in case.

1:00 P. M.

Captain America: The Winter Soldier. We’re excited because we know from the previews for Civil War that this film directly ties in. Despite thoroughly enjoying the film, I catch myself drifting off on multiple occasions. I want to stay awake. I’ve had my coffee and my back is becoming so sore that I can’t fathom how I’d be sleepy. Once we get to the final action sequences I perk up a bit. I love Falcon. Where can I get myself some metal wings?

3:16 P.M.

Another pee and stretch your legs kind of break. I consider going to my car and skipping the next film in favor of a nap. I feel barely aware of my existence. My eyes are out of focus and I wander around massaging my back and doing strange yoga-esque poses on the ground to stretch it out. Just make it through another couple hours and dinner will perk you right up, I tell myself.

3:45 P.M

Avengers: Age of Ultron. Every moment that I find a comfortable position to be seated is a miracle. I’m asking myself if I am still glad I decided to do this. I get the least amount of enjoyment from this film. It just feels drawn out. Though I have tried to remain impartial for Civil War, I start to pick sides based on the events that unfold. I’m excited to see Civil War, but I am starting to feel the same angst of a 10 year old in the back seat of the car. I’m really sick of sitting in one spot, are we THERE yet?

6:04 P.M.

Dinner has arrived! The less committed movie-goers have begun to show up for the premier of Civil War. I feel like some kind of sloth-champion when I look at them. I feel oddly more deserving of the opportunity to view the film. We are all struck with a feeling that the day has gone by fairly quickly, which is odd because each moment seems to have been an eternity. I eat an obnoxious amount of orange chicken and chug and iced latte. It’s go time.

7:00 P.M.

Captain America: Civil War. This is the only movie we’ve watched today to be shown to us in 3D. Soap box moment: I hate 3D. I think it is the worst thing to even happen to movies. It is especially awful when you wear glasses to see in the first place. I spend much of the non-action parts of the movie removing two pairs of glasses to rub my eyes from the unnecessary dizzying effects. The film itself is fun to watch, but lets me down. I can’t help but feel that I prefered rewatching the four prior films. I feel like I’m watching a child play with action figures. All the characters make me laugh and do cool tricks, but even after things start to get serious in the last 45 minutes, I am left hoping that Marvel’s next endeavors prove that there was a point to everything I just watched. A good film can leave a cliffhanger from the larger story but should always have a sense that something actually happened. At the beginning of the movie I had picked a side, but by the end I just didn't know how to feel. My friends suggest that I’m just cranky from fatigue. I prefer to believe i’m just a more discerning viewer than they are.

10:00 P.M.

I have just spent the last 16 hours at the mall, the vast majority of which I was parked in a movie theater seat in a dark room. I am exhausted. I feel completely run down. I feel desperate to get home to my couch, as if I haven’t been stationary the entire day.

I did this because I have made it my mission in life to collect new experiences. I knew it wouldn’t be conventionally fun, but I knew it would be a unique thing I could look back on. Despite how my body feels and the anticlimactic finish to the day, I am glad I did it, but I’ll never do something like it again. A big thanks to my friends for sitting in solidarity. May our butts and backs heal, with time.