Megan Amram is a 28-year-old writer, comedian, and hands down one of the funniest people on the planet.
Her Twitter account, which just hit 500,000 followers, is total and absolute gold. Here are some of her hysterical highlights:
1.
By the time he was my age, Lee Harvey Oswald had already shot a PRESIDENT. i haven't even shot a normal person
2.
There's literally no way to know how many chameleons are in your house
3.
Every truck is a food truck if you're a cannibal
4.
Americans sure like Star Wars for something that immediately forces you to read
5.
At the intermission of musicals there should be a very short football game
6.
girl are u my neighbor's wifi? cuz u have a stupid name and im having trouble connecting
7.
BE HONEST: am i two thousand and late
8.
The number one sign of being a serial killer is killing a bunch of people
9.
I don't mean to sound racist, but all the cover models for O Magazine look the same to me
10.
I'm only four awards away from an EGOT
11.
I can't believe this "Anonymous" guy had so much money to give to charity, he was just a quote writer
12.
I imagine Enya concerts are just full audiences of people getting massages
13.
fuck this jigsaw puzzle, the box didn't say there'd be assembly required
14.
My right boob is named "Full House" and my left boob is named "Fuller House" :/
15.
I've got a "bun" (baby) in the "oven" (oven)
16.
Idea: "Celebrity Price Is Right" where Gwyneth Paltrow guesses that loaves of bread cost $460
To read more of Megan's brilliance, you can find her Twitter here.
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