The 10 Best E-Petitions Signed By One Person

"I, the people..."

Recent research suggests that only a tiny fraction of e-petitions submitted to the government's petition website gain more than 100,000 signatures, the threshold needed to force debate on the issue in Parliament. At the other end of the scale, there's hundreds of petitions only signed by their creator...

1. 'Make cybersex and phone sex illegal'

“They’re like prostitution, which is illegal”

2. 'Ban calculators in primary schools'

Because kids these days.

3. 'Run prisons abroad'

If it works for wizards...

4. 'Make it illegal for anyone with insect phobia to drive'

“Road users need to be protected from ANYBODY who is driving a car and cannot control their bodily actions when confronted with an insect.”

5. 'Ban mothers from using Facebook'

She’ll only embarrass you.

6. 'Stop selling scratch cards that will not win'

No win no fee.

7. 'Introduce the prohibition of alcohol'

“...with the exception of alcohol proscribed by medical professionals and wine used in Churches.”

8. 'Abolish all taxes'

“We do not need taxes to pay for roads, fire stations, police stations and schools, because we already have private schools and look how much better they are than government schools.”

9. 'Allow horses in bus lanes'

The neighs have it.

10. 'Make polyamorous relationships illegal'

“I am probably not the only person who thinks that this is greedy, and doesn’t give single people like me a chance”