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What Constellations Actually Look Like

Some of the constellations are just messy. But don't worry, I've sorted it out.

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The Engraving tool or Chisel

Chisels are straight, this is clearly a sickle.
astronomyonline.org

Chisels are straight, this is clearly a sickle.

The Lynx

Could be waves?
astronomyonline.org

Could be waves?

The Bull

The best I can do here is stethoscope.
astronomyonline.org

The best I can do here is stethoscope.

The Charioteer (seen carrying his children in his arms)

Someone has a vivid imagination.
astronomyonline.org

Someone has a vivid imagination.

The Dove

Passable. Looks more like a coat hanger.
astronomyonline.org

Passable. Looks more like a coat hanger.

The Air Pump

You cannot depict a pump with three stars. This should be renamed the stick.
astronomyonline.org

You cannot depict a pump with three stars. This should be renamed the stick.

The Crab

Possibly the crab's claws, but definitely not the whole animal.
astronomyonline.org

Possibly the crab's claws, but definitely not the whole animal.

The Hunting Dogs

I have no words for this. Two stars next to each other do not need a name.
astronomyonline.org

I have no words for this. Two stars next to each other do not need a name.

The Flying Fish

This should be the bow tie.
astronomyonline.org

This should be the bow tie.

The Chameleon

Lizards have legs and stuff, this is more like a tadpole.
astronomyonline.org

Lizards have legs and stuff, this is more like a tadpole.

The Lion Cub

Again, lions have legs. We have another tadpole.
astronomyonline.org

Again, lions have legs. We have another tadpole.

The Crow

Crows are definitely not that shape.
astronomyonline.org

Crows are definitely not that shape.

The Little Dog

*Sighs*

The Hunter (following two bears)

You can tell that this man works with wild animals by all the limbs he's missing.
astronomyonline.org

You can tell that this man works with wild animals by all the limbs he's missing.

The Little Bear

Looks like the hunter has done some damage to this bear though.
astronomyonline.org

Looks like the hunter has done some damage to this bear though.

The Bird of Paradise

Because in Paradise, birds don't need wings. Or legs. Or any discernible features.
astronomyonline.org

Because in Paradise, birds don't need wings. Or legs. Or any discernible features.

The Fox

I would love to see the farms and zoos of whichever culture named all these animal constellations.
astronomyonline.org

I would love to see the farms and zoos of whichever culture named all these animal constellations.

The Giraffe

A quick shout out to anyone who's good with Photoshop, please make a giraffe this shape. I'm just curious.
astronomyonline.org

A quick shout out to anyone who's good with Photoshop, please make a giraffe this shape. I'm just curious.

The Northern Crown

In the past, kings wore antlers like Loki.
astronomyonline.org

In the past, kings wore antlers like Loki.

The Dragon

Much more like a roller-coaster.
astronomyonline.org

Much more like a roller-coaster.

The Serpent Holder

It must be hard to hold serpents when you have no arms.
astronomyonline.org

It must be hard to hold serpents when you have no arms.

The Shield

That's not really going to protect anyone. Looks more like a longbow.
astronomyonline.org

That's not really going to protect anyone. Looks more like a longbow.

The Harp (or Lyre)

Definitely a tie.
astronomyonline.org

Definitely a tie.

Cepheus (King of Ethiopia)

'Look at the stars. The great kings of the past look down on us from those stars.' Well done to those of you who get that reference.
astronomyonline.org

'Look at the stars. The great kings of the past look down on us from those stars.' Well done to those of you who get that reference.

Cassiopeia (Queen of Ethiopia)

It's sad when neither your king or queen have any limbs.
astronomyonline.org

It's sad when neither your king or queen have any limbs.

Andromeda (Princess of Ethiopia)

She's the daughter of those two, so what did you expect?
astronomyonline.org

She's the daughter of those two, so what did you expect?

The Sea Goat

Nope, not a typo. This is a goat with the tail of a fish. Obviously.
astronomyonline.org

Nope, not a typo. This is a goat with the tail of a fish. Obviously.

The Telescope

This was named in the 1750s by a French astronomer. An astronomer so brilliant that he didn't know what shape a telescope was.
astronomyonline.org

This was named in the 1750s by a French astronomer. An astronomer so brilliant that he didn't know what shape a telescope was.

The Microscope

Again, astronomers should know the basic shapes of scientific instruments.
astronomyonline.org

Again, astronomers should know the basic shapes of scientific instruments.

The Fish

Could be an eel.
astronomyonline.org

Could be an eel.

The Ram

I'm running out of ideas, feel free to insert your own sarcastic comment here.
astronomyonline.org

I'm running out of ideas, feel free to insert your own sarcastic comment here.

The Clock (named to honour the inventor of the Pendulum Clock)

Thank you for your enormous contribution to time-keeping, have this squiggley line.
astronomyonline.org

Thank you for your enormous contribution to time-keeping, have this squiggley line.

The Triangle

Finally. Someone with some sense.
astronomyonline.org

Finally. Someone with some sense.

Here's the links I used, for those of you who actually care about constellations:

Info: http://www.seasky.org/constellations/constellations-intro.html

Images: http://astronomyonline.org/Observation/Constellations.asp

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