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    Posted on Apr 16, 2013

    The Definitive Ranking Of Noodles From Worst To Best

    From Tuscany to Tokyo, this is your no-fail guide to carb delivery devices.

    by ,

    25. Angel Hair

    DO YOU LIKE PULLING HAIR OUT OF THE DRAIN? THEN WHY DO YOU EAT THIS PASTA?

    24. Fettucine

    makebetterfood.com

    EVERYTHING WAS OK UNTIL IT GOT PIMPED OUT BY ALFREDO SAUCE

    23. Udon

    ENJOY YOUR GLOOPY BLANDWORMS WHILE I EAT REAL PASTA WEIRDO

    22. Alphabet Pasta

    dogboardingsg.com

    EATING THIS PASTA IN ITALY IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH

    21. Ziti

    budgetbytes.blogspot.com

    PENNE'S SIMPLE COUSIN NOTHING WRONG WITH HIM BUT PROBABLY NOT COLLEGE MATERIAL

    20. Penne

    upload.wikimedia.org

    BABY'S FIRST PASTA

    19. Lo Mein Noodles

    OH COOL GREASE EVERYWHERE HOPE YOU BROUGHT A TARP

    18. Rotelle

    THIS IS A LIST OF PASTA NOT BABY FOOD

    17. Lasagna

    flickr.com

    NO ONE EATS LASAGNA NOODLES UNLESS THEY ARE STACKED FIVE HIGH AND CRAFTED INTO A MEAT AND CHEESE TOWER. THE DRYWALL OF PASTA

    16. Really Big Stuffed Shells

    SEE: LASAGNA

    15. Macaroni

    ONLY GOOD WITH GRUYERE MOVING ON

    14. Farfalle

    applecrumbles.com

    WHAT GOOD IS CUTE PASTA IF YOU CAN'T EVEN PICK IT UP

    13. Couscous

    YES IT'S PASTA YES IT'S PRETTY GOOD 6.1/10

    12. Spätzle

    spinarecipe.com

    THE BEST THING TO COME OUT OF GERMANY SINCE THE PRINTING PRESS, MAYBE BETTER

    11. Ramen

    THE 99% LOVE IT THE 1% LOVE IT WILL RAMEN UNITE AMERICA? ONLY TIME WILL TELL

    10. Chow Fun Noodles

    THIS NOODLE IS BASICALLY THE SAME AS LO MEIN BUT BIGGER, FLATTER, AND WITH A SASSY NAME. APPROVED

    9. Bucatini

    porkfoodservice.org

    IT'S THICK SPAGHETTI WITH A PIPELINE IN THE MIDDLE FOR MORE SAUCE. A. SAUCE. PIPELINE.

    8. Gemelli

    wordpress.com

    A HEARTY MACHO PASTA THAT'S IN TOUCH WITH ITS CURVY FEMININE SIDE

    7. Pho Noodles

    SIMPLE, CLEAN, CLASSY, SMART. MARRIAGE MATERIAL

    6. Papparadelle

    wordpress.com

    FUN TO SAY FUN TO EAT HOLDS FLAVOR HOLDS A PLACE IN MY HEART

    5. Ravioli

    saporeravioli.com

    YAY FLAVOR PURSES FOR DINNER

    4. Tortellini

    RAVIOLI'S FUN OLDER BROTHER WHO WILL ALWAYS BUY YOU BEER

    3. Soba

    justhungry.com

    ON THE ONE HAND YEA IT'S "JUST" BUCKWHEAT ON THE OTHER HAND IT'S LIKE EATING THE NEWEST SNOWFLAKE ON THE PEAK OF MT FUJI AND THAT'S "JUST" WATER

    2. Orechiette

    HEAR US OUT: EAT THIS EAR-ESISTIBLE PASTA

    1. Spaghetti

    THE CHANEL NO. 5 OF PASTA