Someone once said that swearing is the sure sign of a limited vocabulary.
That person was a dumb fucking shitpile.
Swearing isn't just useful, it's goddamn profound. If profanity isn't just as rich and varied a form of cultural expression as food or visual art, then surely it is just as clear a window onto the priorities, fears, and tastes of the people who produce and use it. To be sure, it can be offensive, hurtful, even dangerous. But it is also almost always pants-shittingly hysterical.
And you dumb asswipes don't know enough of it.
So in the interest of acknowledging this boundlessly creative, revealing, and disgusting human gift, I humbly present an abridged guide to the best swears in every language. A few notes before you dive in, although you'll probably ignore them, you douchebag.
• You won't find in here any epithets having to do with sexual orientation or ethnicity or misogyny. I intend this as a celebration of the depravity of human language, not its hatefulness.
• Where possible, I have included non-Latin scripts.
• This is obviously far, far, far from comprehensive. Please add your favorite swears below, and if they are in languages we don't have (or are more compellingly and colorfully depraved than our choices in languages we do have), we'll add them!
Enough silly bullshit. Enjoy, motherfuckers.
Siug aan my aambeie en wag vir beter dae!: "Suck on my hemorrhoids and wait for better days!"
Silbabot: Literally "You are the fatty layer on my warm milk", meaning "You are a nuisance."
Fini à la pisse: "Finished with piss", meaning that a person was conceived by a mix of sperm and urine.
Je te pisse à la raie!: "I piss on your butt crack!"
Θα μου κλάσεις τα αρχίδια (Na mou klaseis ta'rxidia): Literally "Fart on my balls!", meaning, "You're powerless and ineffective."
שמתי על זה קצוץ! (Samti `al ze katzutz!): Literally "I put my circumcised one on it!", meaning "I don't give a fuck!"
豆腐の角に頭をぶつけて死ね (Tofu no kado ni atama wo butsukete shine): "Hit your head on a corner of tofu and die!"
Uscamias chilotii pe crucea matii!: "I would dry my dirty underwear on your mother's crucifix!"
La concha de la lora!: "The parrot's pussy!" Used as "fuck off".
Me cago en la leche!: "I shit in the milk!"