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25 Things You Definitely Do Every Single Time

Because we'll always be this strange.

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1. Having a small panic attack when your chair makes a fart noise.

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2. Passing someone when you're walking down the street and keeping up an unnaturally accelerated pace until you're out of eyeshot.

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3. Losing focus on something you're reading and not realizing it until three pages later when you don't understand what's going on.

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4. Getting dressed in the morning and sitting on the edge of the bed staring into space for ten minutes.

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5. Giving yourself a shampoo mohawk in the shower.

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6. Turning over the pillow to put your head on the cool side.

Then repeating the process several more times.
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Then repeating the process several more times.

7. Affecting the voice of a nicer person when you talk to a stranger.

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8. Rehearsing the dialogue of a conversation you're never going to have in your head.

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9. Going into a room and forgetting what you're doing there.

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10. Having favorite mirrors.

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There are just some mirrors that make you look perfect, and others that ruin your day.

11. Taking a nap during the day, waking up at night and not knowing what day it is, where you are, or even what your name is.

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12. Falling asleep on your hand and waking up thinking you lost your arm.

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13. Watching an old screensaver until that beautiful moment when it hits the corner.

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14. Opening the microwave one second before it finishes so you don't have to hear it beep.

15. Smiling at dogs while totally ignoring their owners.

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16. Taking out your phone, checking the time, putting your phone away, and still not knowing what time it is.

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17. Fixing your hair when you see your reflection in a window.

18. Opening the refrigerator and forgetting what you wanted to get out of it.

19. Rereading an email right after you send it to make sure it looks good.

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20. Straightening your back whenever someone mentions posture.

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21. Yawning whenever you see someone else do it.

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22. Quickly going through the whole alphabet in your head when you need to remember if one letter comes before another.

23. Discovering a new favorite song and listening to it over and over again until you start to hate it.

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24. Playing an imaginary guitar when your favorite song comes on.

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Even if you don't know how to play the guitar.

25. And pretending that the world will end if you step on a crack in the sidewalk.

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