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1. "If existence precedes essence but I'm struggling to exist, what's supposed to be my essence?". That's you on repeat
2. The question "Who Am I?" makes you be on the verge of a brutal fainting (but it actually doesn't)
3. Public transport has become the only place where you can be at ease with your irresolvable questions
4. You find yourself wandering around supermarket aisles
5. You've convinced yourself that drinking black coffee while staring out of the window is DEFINITELY the best way to deal with your issues
6. You spend your evenings listening to jazz even though you can't get the new IGGY AZALEA song out of your head
7. Taking Rorschach tests on-line has become your favourite hobby
8. You print passport photos of yourself and watch them slowly burn. In the kitchen stoves. Because you don't have a fireplace to make it look dramatic
9. You think your entire education has been useless and a waste of time, from nursery school to your PhD
10. You carry a book everywhere you go (Sartre, Kafka, Heidegger, E.L. James, whatever...) but you're permanently on page 9
11. You've become obsessed with over-analyzing your childhood cartoons and blaming them for your currently messed up state of mind
12. You force yourself to watch Ingmar Bergman's movies WITHOUT subtitles
13. You've changed your Twitter avatar for the infamous EGG because you think it accurately depicts the emptiness inside you
14. You're worrying your friends because of your Facebook statuses
15. Your responses only make it worse
16. You try to justify all your mistakes by saying the world is "an absurd" but you're eventually held accountable for them, like anyone else
OK, so maybe you are TRULY going through an existential crisis. Or maybe not. Most probably not.
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