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    Updated on Sep 18, 2019. Posted on Sep 16, 2019

    27 Tweets From This Month So Far That Are Certifiably Hilarious

    "I ordered cookie dough to my apartment at midnight, and the delivery rider asked if I was okay. I mean, what do you think, Robert?"

    1.

    Me getting ready for the outing i said yes to

    2.

    This is how little kids stare at you in public areas for no reason

    3.

    i ordered cookie dough to my apartment at midnight and the delivery rider asked if i was okay i mean what do you think robert

    4.

    $35 plus $5 for $40 with free shipping Shipping

    5.

    every day men leave their homes with no bag, no water bottle, no lip balm, no hand sanitizer, no extra layer in case they get cold, just keys and a wallet shoved into their pocket. chaotic and reckless

    6.

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    Carrie Underwood: “he's probably buying her some fruity little drink 'cause she can't shoot whiskey” 8 yr old me: wow how embarrassing

    8.

    idk what the cat is going through but same

    9.

    why do essay conclusions exist, i said what i said scroll up !!!!

    10.

    Daisy Buchanan after everything goes down with Gatsby

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    12.

    Actual footage of me standing in front of the fridge and deciding what to eat. 📹: https://t.co/oOUdo8HrNM

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    the women on Sex and the City: omg he is a fox, hottest guy I've ever seen, I'm dripping wet just looking at him the guy:

    15.

    The Academy Award for best dramatic performance goes to…

    16.

    nyc twitter: i just saw 2 rats get married on the subway LA twitter: my boyfriends both have pitches at warner bros. and idk which one to support chicago twitter: i live in chicago

    17.

    if your boyfriend has an android.. ur single to me 😤 tf is he gonna do?? tell me to (1/2) fuck (2/2) off ???

    18.

    It’s literally what we do, Maureen. https://t.co/lXFmt5NXK3

    19.

    this is literally how birthday cake works

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    Twitter: @sistersome / Via Twitter: @sistersome

    22.

    So I walk into the bathroom and this girl stops me from entering the stall and says: “Sorry I couldn’t help but notice your earrings, are you from Texas??” These are the earrings I was wearing:

    23.

    bury me with a hair tie on my wrist just in case

    24.

    25.

    the one (1) granola bar in my stomach waiting for me to eat an actual meal

    26.

    it’s everyone’s favorite time of year: when my aunt publicly compares her marriage to 9/11

    27.

    Hello darkness my old friend. Darkness (2 days later): Sorry just saw this.

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