1.
Doctor: ”Okay, so what’s wrong with you today?” Me: *Turns to my mom*
2.
Damn how much daylight they tryna save ?!?! It’s dark as a bitch
3.
me in 2012 keeping an eye out for Selener
4.
Me cutting gym class to spend time with my 11th grade AP English teacher
5.
THIS LITTLE GIRL I’M BABYSITTING JUST ASKED ME IF I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND I SAID NOT ANYMORE AND SHE SAID “BOYFRIENDS ARE A WASTE OF TIME” AND THEN SHE TURNS TO HER BROTHER AND TELLS HIM “YOU’RE GONNA BE A WASTE OF TIME”
6.
My high ass over here amazed by this shit
7.
PETCO??? https://t.co/az0XZEojer
8.
Fuck it I’m downloading TikTok🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
9.
That unspoken group dynamic when all your friends are in an Uber on your way to the club and the people in the backseat are lit, dancing and scream talking and the person in the front seat is the group's PR person and talks to the driver and just keeps saying "I'm sorry for that"
10.
someone recorded their cat saying “well hi!” in a southern accent and i will never be the same
11.
Three months ago I was crying every single day when I drove home from work because I was so unhappy with my life. I’m still doing that but now I get to listen to Christmas music simultaneously
12.
Me
13.
When ya boss is watching you so you gotta act busy
14.
When you don’t put your phone in airplane mode 🤦🏾♂️😭
15.
I don’t know what message she’s trying to send, but the lady at my bodega snuck an entire salad into my turkey sandwich.
16.
lol who else eat their pb&j sandwiches raw
17.
dawg i was 13 changing the HTML codes on my tumblr page like i was a 2000s movie teen hacker but now i can’t be even spell ecxel
18.
When you see a tweet that’s just a little funny
19.
I like men who are on twitter because it shows me that they can read
20.
dumbest bitch award goes to me😩🤣
21.
[as a lawyer] me: "permission to approach the bench, your honor" judge: "granted" me, whispering: "are you mad at me?"
22.
Y’all..... why would my kid say this 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
23.
I saw a girl post her Spotify top artists on her Instagram story with the caption “so accurate”. Like yeah it’s accurate... it’s literally data
24.
25.
i thought i liked seeing movies but turns out i like eating candy in a dark room where it’s illegal to talk to me