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    100 Jokes About Adulthood That Are Funny, But Also Sting A Little Bit

    "The retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. I've had enough."


    Being an adult is having the "we have food at home" talk with yourself.


    Y’all ever put a $7.02 pack of chicken back and got a pack that was $6.98?! 😭


    KID: *falls out of tree* I'm fine ADULT: *sleeps on neck a little strangely* I have to turn my whole body to look at you for the next week


    adulthood is emailing "sorry for the delayed response!" back and forth until one of you dies


    When parents say to kids "go to ur room & think about what you've done" it's really good practice for what you'll do every night as an adult


    The retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. I’ve had enough


    18th birthday: cant wait to be 21 19th birthday: cant wait to be 21 20th birthday: cant wait to be 21 21st birthday: YEET 22nd birthday: time is fleeting; my days left on this earth are numbered



    me at 14: can’t wait to travel the whole world once i’m earning my own money me now: mustn’t forget that tupperware at work, it’s my only one


    i get so mad when people ask what i’m gonna do on my day off!!!! bitch i’m gonna recover from all my days on


    Adulthood is just clicking this button everyday until you eventually die


    why the fuck would u wanna go big when u can go home


    Nobody talks about Jesus' miracle of having 12 close friends in his 30s


    Being an adult means not having your bed pushed up against a corner. That is literally the only criteria


    I’m at a point in my life where I now wake up wondering every morning if I’m coming down with a cold or if this is just how I wake up now


    Adult email culture is ending every sentence with an exclamation point, then proofreading to see how many is socially acceptable to keep.


    Me as a kid: when I’m an adult, I’m gonna stay up all night & eat whatever I want. Me as an adult: if I don’t finish this glass of water and go to bed by 9, I’m gonna die.


    Birthday at 21: Takes 12 different shots from 12 different bars. Birthday at 37: Takes two different pain relievers because I literally hurt myself sleeping.


    Man you really think your teachers are pure & innocent growing up until youre an adult and all your wild friends are now employed teaching the youth of america


    Me at 15: Why do my parents watch fucking HGTV all day? Me at 23: Damn, the granite countertops really do make that kitchen pop


    If replacing a dirty dish sponge with a new one puts you in a good mood, you’re officially an adult


    Being afraid to check your bank account is the adult version of being afraid to check your grades.


    Adulting is finally understanding why your mom was so upset with you when you didn’t take the chicken out of the freezer


    I'm an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me.


    1.Not leaving my room 2.Not leaving the house 3.Missing someone's birthday party My childhood punishments have become my adult hobbies.


    as an adult, i can literally do whatever i want to, but i always end up wanting to just go to sleep.


    peak adulting is when you start using the phrase “they done lost their damn mind” regarding prices at the grocery store


    Who knew the the most taxing part of being an adult is trying to figure out what the fuck to have for dinner every goddamn night until you die



    Most adult friendships are just figuring out whose turn it is to cancel plans.


    By the time you turn 30 you should have at least one of the following: 1. A drawer full of random cords 2. Tupperware with half the lids missing 3. Anxiety 4. A collection of plastic bags full of other plastic bags 5. Sleep deprivation


    Being an adult is opening the dishwasher and yelling "ARE THESE CLEAN OR DIRTY?" until you die


    adulting really is managing one inconvenience after another, daily. lmao wild.


    Me at 18: as long as I’m in bed by 3 AM I’m good Me now: it’s already 8PM, we can’t start a movie this late


    When you become a grown up, people stop asking you what your favourite dinosaur is. They don't even care.


    adulthood is wanting to cry for 4 days straight but not having the time


    I remember the way I used to get excited whenever I received a letter addressed to me when I was younger but every time I receive one now I think “fucking what now”


    Me forcing myself to save money and cook instead of eating out


    I’m at the point in my life where I check my email as part of my social media line up


    9 yo me: wow I love my public library yes I’d like to check out 14 novels that are above my reading level. Be back next week Me now: wow I love my public library yes I would like to check out one—I believe it’s called a Bööke? I will be back in 3-5 business months


    My favorite childhood memory is my back not hurting


    I’m officially at the age where I hate loud and unnecessary noise.


    16 year old me: I can’t wait to be older being an adult is gonna be so fun adult me:


    being an adult is 90% stressing about money and 10% spending money you don’t have on treats because you’ve worried a lot this week


    True mark of adulthood: instead of your parents scheduling your doctor's appointments, you just avoid going to the doctor & hope u don't die


    Used to sneak out my house to go to parties, now I sneak out of parties to go to my house


    A haiku about being an adult: I am so tired Where did all my money go My back is hurting


    adult friendship is lots of cancelled plans and missed calls and missed phone dates and then really intense quick catch ups with life changing news that we laugh about and then text right after "I love you"


    Apparently being an adult means googling phone numbers that call you rather than answering them.


    My vision board is just a picture of me sleeping.


    Me as a kid: I can't wait until I'm an adult and nobody can tell me what to do Me as an adult: Someone please tell me what to do


    Being an adult is pretty easy, you just feel tired all the time and tell people about how tired you are and they tell you how tired they are


    I’m at a place in my life where I can finally understand why my mom would act like making one stop between work & home would kill her.


    I pretend to like people every day. It’s called being an adult and that’s why we’re allowed to buy alcohol.


    Welcome to your 30s. You now have Home Advil and Purse Advil.


    Remember when u were little & u’d fall on the trampoline & everyone would keep jumping so you couldn’t get back up? That’s being an adult.


    “Sorry I have to be up early for work” is the adult equivalent of “my mom said no”


    One day you're not old and the next day you have a favorite grocery store.


    I'm at the age where I finally understand why anyone would be happy to win a new appliance package on The Price is Right.


    *wakes up in the middle of the night* Me: please don’t be 7am *2:37am* Me: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS!1!


    Being an adult is like losing your mom in a department store for years and years until you die.


    Adult culture is just walking around constantly astounded by how much everything costs


    You're not an adult until you have a cabinet full of Tupperware and every time you open it they all spill out and you can never find a matching lid for the one you want to use.


    Things I Was Disappointed To Find Out Were True As An Adult: 1. I do feel better when I eat salad vs snack food as a meal 2. 8 hrs of sleep really does help my mood 3. Sitting in a chair vs flopping on a couch is better for my productivity 4. Drinking plain water is essential


    FRIEND: so how are you? ME: I'm well, thanks! FRIEND: what's new? ME: not much! FRIEND: well, what have you been up to? ME: why are you doing this to me


    8-year-old: Why is it so boring? Me: What? 8: Everything. She's officially an adult.


    adult culture is typing a number into google to see who’s calling you instead of answering


    Adult culture is just walking around constantly astounded by how much everything costs.


    Saying “sorry the place is a mess” when a guest enters your home despite the fact that you spent three hours making sure it’s immaculate prior to their visit is adult culture.


    Kids just want to be grown-ups, but all grown-ups want are snacks and naps.


    Adulthood is wanting to be invited but not wanting to go.


    I don't understand people who do things on weekends. You just did things all week. What's next, more things?? That's how they get you


    The irony of finally being old enough to do whatever you want when you're "grown-up" is that you're too tired to want to do any of it.


    You become an adult when you open a carton of eggs to check it before buying.


    I've found that 90% of my happiness in any situation depends on whether I have the option to sit down.


    Adulthood is making an involuntary grunt when you do anything that involves movement


    Me as a kid: I can't wait until I'm an adult and I can make my own decisions Me as an adult: Okay but wtf am I supposed to be doing


    I used to think that adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. as it turns out, adulthood is multiple crises, concurrently, all the time, forever


    I've spent my whole adult life chasing the high of a scholastic book fair


    I think the most exciting thing about being an adult is never knowing what part of your body is going to hurt the next day.


    I'm an adult but more like an adult cat... Like someone should probably take care of me but I can also sorta make it on my own.


    I just took a DNA test turns out I’m 100% overworked and mentally drained but still doing my best to maintain a well balanced life


    Me at 14: *reads three Harry Potter books in one day* Me at 27: *sees a text that’s longer than 2 sentences* holy shit, I just do not have the time for this



    nobody tell dolly we work from 9 til 9 now :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((


    the real challenge of adulthood is having to buy things that were magically just in your house growing up. like q-tips, windex, laundry detergent, salt .. like lmao oh I gotta purchase these shits?



    Adulthood is eating the bruised part of the banana because you spent money and this is your goddamn banana.


    Exciting perks of adulthood: 1. Busy! Busy all the time! What are you even doing? You don't know! 2. Very tired. 3. Some kinda stomach ache??? 4. Definitely sad about something. 5. Bills! Bills all the time! What are you even paying for? You don't know!


    I want a horror movie about the modern terrors of adulthood. Ones that we can all relate to. Like about making a dental appointment now that you finally have insurance as a grown woman, and the anxiety of what the dentist will say to me.


    age 18: who's this 23 year old asshole age 23: who's this 18 year old asshole age 30: who's this 29 year old asshole


    Being an adult is like being a Quentin Tarantino movie: it starts out real cool, there's lots of cursing, it's very confusing, everyone dies


    probably my favorite part of being an adult is all the anxiety i experience over working on projects i gave myself that no one else cares if i finish


    Adulthood is trying each of the same six passwords that you use for everything and complaining that you're tired.


    Is this really my adult face, do I have to look like this for the rest of my life, how is this my peak


    Age 15: someday I'm going to own a Ferrari Age 20: maybe I'll get a BMW someday Age 25: I hope someone in a Mercedes hits me in a crosswalk


    How do people work 10+ hours a Day then come home and workout and cook? Adulting is an extreme sport


    No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don't want to go in the first place.


    Being an adult is just finally getting why your mom was upset about stuff when you were a kid.


    ive been thinking about it and ive realized it is in my financial best interest to pass away

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