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    Posted on Jan 22, 2015

    Emojis You Need In Your Life

    "Solitary Batman standing atop a building, staring down at Gotham, dejected"

    1. Taco

    2. Burrito

    3. Solitary Batman standing atop a building, staring down at Gotham, dejected

    4. Nachos

    5. Two tacos

    6. A whole pizza

    7. Every face and gesture of the regular Emojis but with a responsive skin tone and gender slider

    8. Misguided karaoke

    9. A mic drop

    10. A unicorn celebrating

    11. When it's 3am and you sort Yelp for "nearby restaurants" and there are lots of

    "nearby restaurants" and then you sort for "open now" and all the "nearby restaurants" disappear forever and you shed a tear, THAT TEAR

    12. Hands covered in Cheeto dust

    13. Hands covered in blood

    14. All Harry Potter characters as well as symbols for each major theme and event in the series

    15. At least nine more styles of camel

    16. At least nine more rice dishes

    17. Two missed calls from your mom

    18. Your roommate's girlfriend

    19. Your roommate's ex-girlfriend

    20. Your former self, disappointed by what you've become.

    21. A Bloody Mary with no food

    22. Toast

    23. $4 toast

    24. $6 toast

    25. Triscuits, ice chips, and some ginger ale for your achy tum-tum

    26. The white girl holding a yoga mat

    27. The white girl holding a "tribal print" t-shirt

    28. The white girl holding the skulls of native peoples

    29. The white girl in a vast emptiness, beyond privilege, beyond time, beyond space, beyond, even, herself

    30. Bacon

    31. Avocados

    32. A Save the Date from your cousin

    33. $300 bridesmaids' dresses

    34. Your ex boyfriend's sweatshirt/your favorite sweatshirt

    35. An Amazon drone

    36. A corporate drone

    37. A few more fax machines, in a variety of colors

    38. Someone taking a selfie, with an iPad, in a bar

    39. Hot garbage

    40. Breakfast burrito

    41. A clearer, not-praying-hands high five

    42. Cheese

    43. Cheddar cheese

    44. Swiss cheese

    45. Brie

    46. Brie with honey

    47. Brie with nuts and honey

    48. Brie with nuts, honey, and a glass of white wine, and a old friend – you can talk

    about anything and it's good to reminisce

    49. The hope of the 90's

    50. Netflix

    51. The Netflix dragon burning down a Blockbuster

    52. The Nisha Call

    53. A giraffe

    54. Menorah

    55. An intern on a hamster wheel

    56. Your Boss's Khakis

    57. Kale

    58. Lobster

    59. Crab

    60. You at a nice lobster/crab dinner, you said the thing he begged you not to say -- now it's all ruined, the whole thing -- at least there's crab

    61. 3-legged rescue dog

    62. Cupcake

    63. Oprah giving away alpaca sweaters and her favsies quinoas

    64. Champagne bottle, popping the way they do in cartoons

    65. The sweatpants you wear to get Thai food

    66. Iron Throne

    67. Olive Garden

    68. You saying you'll be five minutes late and your friends knowing you mean 30 –

    it's a little game you all play so no one has to call anyone out for being a awful

    69. Middle finger

    70. Middle finger with a wedding ring

    71. Middle finger with a gay wedding ring

    72. Middle finger that is pointed inward, reflective.

    73. The blood of your enemies, spilt this night

    74. Cake in the office kitchen

    75. Climbing the fire escape at dawn, just to see your kingdom

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