25 Reasons You Didn’t Show Up To Work After Black Friday

Black Friday can be both an exhilarating yet stressful time. Of course there are the shiny toys, the fantastic deals and the feeling of giddiness that accompanies a great find, but hand in hand with these perks are the monster credit card statements and thrashing mobs of excited shoppers. To raise the stakes, some stores stretch out Black Friday over the entire weekend! In case you are unable to face a day at the office after the whole experience, here are 25 excuses that might garner you a modicum of sympathy from you employer. Or not.

1.

Too busy to pay attention to such inconsequential details, you took the wrong child home. He needs to go home and ASAP. Oh, and you should probably find your kid too.

2.

You entered into state of shopping induced hypnosis and re-mortgaged your house: Monday will have to be spent returning everything. Well, everything except your financial security.

3.

You got into a fight with another customer over deeply discounted sweater and are still recovering from your battle scars: fake nails hurt! - See more at: http://blog.jobbook.com/#sthash.edFoLqAK.dpuf

4.

While shopping for a beach towel you happened to meet the eyes of a handsome stranger who has invited you to their Florida vacation house for the week. While calling your boss, refrain from mentioning that you are considering staying there forever.

5.

You left the dog in the car in the parking lot and will be facing animal cruelty charges in court. You better stock up on puppy treats to earn Rover’s trust back!

6.

A security guard tackled you, thinking that you were shoplifting that watch that somehow made its way into your pocket.

7.

Swept along by the delirious crowd you ended up in an adjacent state.

8.

You would love to come into work but there are some great office materials still on sale that you must absolutely grab in order to maximize your productivity. Ya, staplers do that.

9.

You were so excited to watch all your new TV shows and to try out all your great new video games that you forgot to sleep. People who sleep don’t know what they’re missing.

10.

After sniffing dozens of sample perfume bottles you’ve developed a splitting headache, not from the poignant odours but from the ridiculous prices people are willing to pay for fragrance and the latest eau de toilette.

11.

After having harassed a store employee that demanded that you stop running around the store you have been given a restraining order preventing you from going within a 2 kilometre radius from of the employee’s place of work (that just so happens to be located right next to your office).

12.

Your wardrobe has grown so exponentially that it would be impossible to choose what to wear.

13.

Black Friday was such a success that you find it absolutely necessary to participate in Cyber Monday, as if you needed another reason to shop.

14.

You’ve fallen into a deep depression after learning about the real origins of the term Black Friday. And no, it does not have to have to do with retailers going out of the red (deficit) and into the black (making a profit).

15.

You were so absorbed in driving from store to store that you didn’t notice the gas meter going down and ended up stuck in a distant suburb with no cell service. At least the view is nice.

16.

You have a sore throat after screaming in delight at all the great bargains you found.

17.

While carrying your shopping bags you strained your back big time.

18.

Missing the deal of the century has made you so angry that you would be a menace to your colleagues.

19.

You have developed an unfortunate case of tendinitis after having spent so much time flicking through racks of clothing.

20.

Shopping all day was so much fun that you’ve decided to quit and become a Mystery Shopper, how exciting!

21.

You got major whiplash from the crazed mall parking lot drivers.

22.

You feel crushed by the environmental costs of the consumption obsessed capitalist system.

23.

Being in close proximity to hundreds of other shoppers has given you a rare strain of flu.

24.

Having gobbled one non-identifiable deep fried object too many at the mall food court, you have come down with a bad case of food poisoning.

25.

You were trampled by the frantic mob trying to get into the store entrance. While people ran over you in their search for the latest products at the best prices your were perplexed, yet happy, to see people participating in a special kind of celebration, HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY! - See more at: Jobbook Blog