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    19 Things Every Academic Will Immediately Relate To

    With great academic power comes a surprisingly limited amount of academic responsibility. Via Sh*t Academics Say.

    1.

    2.

    Don't become an academic. Just kidding. But seriously, stay out of my field.

    Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

    Don't become an academic. Just kidding. But seriously, stay out of my field.

    2:57 AM - 20 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    3.

    Two academics walk into a bar. You should be writing.

    Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

    Two academics walk into a bar. You should be writing.

    12:35 PM - 15 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    4.

    5.

    I may disapprove of what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it after peer review.

    Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

    I may disapprove of what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it after peer review.

    2:51 AM - 12 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    6.

    With great academic responsibility often comes a surprisingly limited amount of academic power.

    Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

    With great academic responsibility often comes a surprisingly limited amount of academic power.

    3:09 AM - 27 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    7.

    8.

    Correlation does not equal causation. Unless it does, in which case that expensive longitudinal study was probably unnecessary.

    Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

    Correlation does not equal causation. Unless it does, in which case that expensive longitudinal study was probably unnecessary.

    12:40 PM - 11 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    9.

    Successful academic writing: 1% inspiration 12.51% perseveration 13% omission 30% citation 50% procrastination 90% nonnegotiable deadlines

    Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

    Successful academic writing:

    1% inspiration

    12.51% perseveration

    13% omission

    30% citation

    50% procrastination

    90% nonnegotiable deadlines

    4:02 AM - 11 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    10.

    11.

    We wish to thank Reviewer 2 for their critical feedback & sincerely apologize for not having written the manuscript they would have written.

    Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

    We wish to thank Reviewer 2 for their critical feedback & sincerely apologize for not having written the manuscript they would have written.

    1:04 PM - 09 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    12.

    It's not self-plagiarism. It's an implicit acknowledgment that one cannot improve upon perfection.

    Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

    It's not self-plagiarism. It's an implicit acknowledgment that one cannot improve upon perfection.

    9:43 PM - 08 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    13.

    14.

    "I'm opening an academic-publishing-themed restaurant. You bring the ingredients & get volunteers to cook & serve. Now pay me $10,000." @xor

    Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

    "I'm opening an academic-publishing-themed restaurant. You bring the ingredients & get volunteers to cook & serve. Now pay me $10,000." @xor

    3:12 PM - 07 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

    15.

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    17.

    You had me at "I read your most recent paper."

    19.