19 Things Every Academic Will Immediately Relate To

With great academic power comes a surprisingly limited amount of academic responsibility. Via Sh*t Academics Say.

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2.

Don't become an academic. Just kidding. But seriously, stay out of my field.

Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

Don't become an academic. Just kidding. But seriously, stay out of my field.

2:57 AM - 20 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

3.

Two academics walk into a bar. You should be writing.

Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

Two academics walk into a bar. You should be writing.

12:35 PM - 15 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

5.

I may disapprove of what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it after peer review.

Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

I may disapprove of what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it after peer review.

2:51 AM - 12 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

6.

With great academic responsibility often comes a surprisingly limited amount of academic power.

Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

With great academic responsibility often comes a surprisingly limited amount of academic power.

3:09 AM - 27 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

8.

Correlation does not equal causation. Unless it does, in which case that expensive longitudinal study was probably unnecessary.

Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

Correlation does not equal causation. Unless it does, in which case that expensive longitudinal study was probably unnecessary.

12:40 PM - 11 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

9.

Successful academic writing: 1% inspiration 12.51% perseveration 13% omission 30% citation 50% procrastination 90% nonnegotiable deadlines

Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

Successful academic writing:
1% inspiration
12.51% perseveration
13% omission
30% citation
50% procrastination
90% nonnegotiable deadlines

4:02 AM - 11 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

11.

We wish to thank Reviewer 2 for their critical feedback & sincerely apologize for not having written the manuscript they would have written.

Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

We wish to thank Reviewer 2 for their critical feedback & sincerely apologize for not having written the manuscript they would have written.

1:04 PM - 09 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

12.

It's not self-plagiarism. It's an implicit acknowledgment that one cannot improve upon perfection.

Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

It's not self-plagiarism. It's an implicit acknowledgment that one cannot improve upon perfection.

9:43 PM - 08 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

14.

"I'm opening an academic-publishing-themed restaurant. You bring the ingredients & get volunteers to cook & serve. Now pay me $10,000." @xor

Shit Academics Say@AcademicsSayFollow

"I'm opening an academic-publishing-themed restaurant. You bring the ingredients & get volunteers to cook & serve. Now pay me $10,000." @xor

3:12 PM - 07 Jan 15ReplyRetweetFavorite

15.

17.

You had me at "I read your most recent paper."