15 Things That Really Deserve The Name “Polar Vortex”

Is this a weather buzzword or a tornado of polar bears? Seriously, I’m asking.

1. A tornado of polar bears.

Oh no.

2. A fountain drink you can buy at a gas station.

Gotta stop and get a Polar Vortex for the road.

3. Some sort of supernatural ice prison.

Flickr: Joel Abroad / Shutterstock.com / Via Flickr: 40295335@N00

Dude, that one wizard was locked in the polar vortex for 800 years.

4. Where you get sucked into watching The Polar Express on a loop.

Warner Brothers / Via imdb.com

A real problem for probably no one.

5. An alternate name for brain freeze.

Oh crap. You got that polar vortex.

6. A dessert at Applebee’s.

Applebee’s / Via sweetpenniesfromheaven.com

Have you tried the Polar Vortex? It comes with a fudge explosion and a side of jalapeño poppers.

7. An edgy new brand of vodka.

Absolu Vodka

Polar Vortex martini, please.

8. A self-serve froyo chain.

Let’s stop and take a Polar Vortex break!!!!!! With sprinkles!!!!

9. A mildly exciting board game.

This will kill a few secoonds.

10. A roller coaster at Six Flags.

The line for the Polar Vortex is like three hours long.

11. A cool rebranding of the North Pole.

The elves are ballin’ out of control in Santa’s POLAR VORTEX.

12. A flavor of shave ice.

The polar vortex just tastes like blue raspberry. :(

13. The name of a super boozy Arctic cruise line.

Come aboard the Polar Vortex and get sucked into a veritable vortex of booze.

14. A magic portal to Antarctica.

Step back! Don’t get sucked into the polar vortex!

15. A brand of aftershave.

It just feels better with a Polar Vortex man.

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