Lavender shortbread is surprisingly easy to make. Plus, you get to feel real fancy. “Care for a lavender shortbread?” you ask. “What is this, ‘Downton Abbey’?” reply all your friends just before their brains explode with fanciness.
2 sticks unsalted butter, softened to room-temperature
2 tablespoons dried lavender
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups flour
Purple food coloring (optional)
Food processor or blender
Cookie cutter or random cookie-shaped object
First: Find lavender.
This may be the trickiest part. I basically had to go to an alchemist dungeon* (see above) to find it. I went with dried lavender but fresh is also acceptable.
As I made my way to the alchemist’s secret lair on a dark, rainy night, I asked myself “What are you doing? No one is going to care if these cookies taste like lavender.” But I pressed on in the name of fanciness.
The aged alchemist stepped from the shadows. “Yes, I can give you this lavender you speak of but first you must promise me your first-born child or suffer a terrible curse.” And I was like, fine, whatever, just give me the dried flowers.**
*Actually, a nice herb store called Flower Power in the East Village.
**This did not happen. I bough it from a nice lady using money.
Will this look like you’re eating mothy gray plant particles?
Surprisingly, no! I mean, it does now, but it won’t later.
2. Combine butter and lavender-sugar.
Will this make it look like gray sludge?
Kind of! But it’s fine.
5. Roll out dough on floured surface and cut some lil’ shortbreads out.
I used the top of a blender as a cookie cutter. That yielded about two dozen cookies. Feel free to use a real cookie cutter if you think you’re better than this.
Roll dough to about 1/4 inch thickness, the thicker, the better.
6. Bake for 15 minutes in 300 degree oven.
If you let them get brown you’ll be drowning in a pool of regrets.
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