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20 Reasons You Should Get Your Own Damn Food

Or risk losing a finger.

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1. You SAID you weren't hungry.

2. Your bite is larger than a standard bite.

3. You've set yourself up for what is clearly the best bite.

4. A one-time share turned into an open invitation for endless food-taking.

5. You had the chance to get YOUR OWN and you totally blew it.

6. Your idea of "splitting" something means eating it all.

7. Sharing is just something we lie to little kids about-- no one actually wants to do it.

8. Let's do that thing where everyone has to try a bite of everyone else's food and we pass our plates all over the restaurant. JUST KIDDING LET'S NEVER DO THAT.

9. Some foods simply aren't designed to be shared.

You're going against the design!
Flickr: found_drama

You're going against the design!

10. You're disrupting the quality time between me and my food.

11. Oh, you finished it. How convenient.

12. You're really straining the bonds of friendship and/or love.

13. This food's DESTINY was predetermined and you're only interfering.

14. You've tapped into the primal stress of knowing your food source is at risk.


15. Your games of manipulation are tearing us apart.

16. Me and MY meal want nothing to do with your weird food love triangle.

17. You've broken the sacred bonds between a man/woman and his/her food.

Flickr: librarygoblin


18. You make me feel like I need to eat alone in a dark cell.

19. Don't punish me for your ineptitude at judging your own food-intake needs.

20. You're no better than the Hamburglar or the Trix rabbit in terms of shameful food theft.

General Mills

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