I'm tired of sweating.I think summer is a pile of garbage.I want to be able to layer my clothing without turning into a hot swamp beast.I just like feeling cozy, OK?Wearing a sweater just feels right. IT FEELS SO RIGHT.Seeing my breath create a little cloud of fog fills my heart with JOY.I like my air like I like my apples, CRISP damn it.Apples? Let's get some apple cider up in here.I want to fall in love all over again with warm knit fabrics.I want to feel all my problems melt away with the comforting embrace of a soft sweater.I have the best sweaters, you guys.Wearing a sweater is like getting a hug.Sweaters make up for my lack of physical contact with other people.In the summer I'm worried that my sweaters feel sad and unwanted.I can't believe I left my poor sweaters alone in the dark.I am jealous of fishermen and their big, thick sweaters.My hands want nothing more than to wrap themselves around a warm mug.A sweater gives me a protective layer against the horrors of the world.I wish I could live inside a sweater.I have tried to fit my entire body inside one sweater.I have worn sweater pants, or "swants."I would just leave the house wrapped in a big blanket if it were more socially acceptable.I actually do wear a blanket out of the house and I don't care what anyone thinks about it.GIVE ME THAT BRISK AIR.If I'm not wearing a sweater I might as well be dead.
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