Bullying is a matter that schools are not taking seriously enough. We tend to focus on what bullying is and the short-term effects and place little or no emphasis on the impact bullying can have on children in the long run. Perhaps if we showed people why bullying is bad instead of just telling them, then maybe more action would be taken towards stopping it. I'm 22 years old and as a former victim of bullying I can say that the long-term effects are worse than the actual bullying itself. How? Here, let me explain.
All throughout elementary, middle, and some of high school I was bullied for my weight. Children would come up to me and call me fat, they would laugh and make fun of me while I stood there and cried. What's worse is no one stepped in to help me.
Here are some incidents that occurred:
I was in the 4th grade and was walking downstairs when I saw my friend. I had a birthday coming up and wanted her to come. Without giving it a second thought I said aloud "Do you wanna come to my party?" I was happy that she had yes until I heard the boy behind me say "Oh look, two fat girls inviting each other to a birthday party."
5th grade was hell for me.
– I was sitting in the gym when a boy came up to me and said "Here, give me your wrist, I wanna show you a magic trick." I was happy that someone actually came up to talk to me and genuinely wanted to see what his magic trick was so I gave him my wrist. He grabbed it and said "Nah, you're too fat, the trick isn't going to work on you." Then he walked away laughing and I was left sitting on the gym bleachers staring at my wrist.
-I was sitting in my class wearing a green zip-up sweater. It was a hand-me-down because my parents couldn't afford to buy my siblings and I new clothes. I was sitting in my seat, coloring a picture for art class, when one of the popular girls came up to me, tugged my sweater and said "Ew, you look ugly. You look like a green booger with that sweater." She laughed and walked back to her seat. For the remainder of the day I walked with my head down, telling myself that I was ugly and if she said I looked like a green booger then I probably did. I got home that day, took off my sweater, and never wore it again. It wasn't until I turned 21 that I told my mom why I stopped wearing that sweater.
-I got a haircut and a nice blowout on Sunday. I was thrilled and in love with my new hairstyle, actually, I couldn't wait to wear it to school on Monday. Monday came and the minute I sat in my seat the popular girl came up to me and said "Your hair looks ugly. I really hope you don't think you look pretty because you don't." After she left I picked my hair up in a ponytail and lowered my head. I was embarrassed of my hair, I felt dumb for thinking that I actually looked pretty.
-It was my birthday and my dad decided to throw me a party. He said "Invite whoever you want." I went to school the next day with the intention of only inviting my best friend but the popular kids overheard and told me they wanted to come. I wanted so badly to make friends (doesn't every kid want that?) that I said okay. I ran home, excited, and told my dad that I had invited 12 kids. The day of the party came, I got dressed up, the food was ready, the balloons were set, and the cake was displayed on the table, all that was missing were the guests. One hour turned to two, and two turned into three, until evening had set and my house was guestless. I had been stood up. No one arrived. When I went to school the next day all of the kids looked at me, laughed, and said "Nice party." I went to the bathroom and cried.
6th grade was different. Yes, kids still made fun of me but this time a teacher made fun of me as well.
-My math teacher threw us a pizza party and we were each given one slice of pizza. She said if we wanted more all we had to do was ask her and she would give us another slice. Me and two other girls (they were thinner than me) went up to ask her for another slice. She gave both of them a slice and when I asked her, she turned to the girl that was sitting next to her and said "Girls have to take care of themselves and watch what they eat, otherwise they'll get fat." Then she turned to me and said "Do you still want pizza?" I felt terrible and sat down.
In the 7th grade, my "best friend" told me "You'll never get a boyfriend. You're too ugly."
Freshman year of high school I was walking home from school with my friend (who was thinner than me) when one of the boys behind us said "Okay, listen bro, I'll take the pretty thin girl on the right and you can have the chubby ugly girl on the left." His friend, in turn, said "Ew, I'd rather be single."
Senior year of high school I accidentally cut in front of this girl in the lunch line. I didn't know she was waiting in line because she was standing off to the side. She then turned to her friend and in a loud voice said "This fat bitch just cut me in line."
Those are just some of the experiences that I went through while growing up, and the sad part is that there are countless children and adolescents that still go through this. I, for one, am still trying to overcome the effects of bullying. Did you know that because of that boy I now measure my wrist every day to make sure I can fit my fingers around it? I don't like getting my haircut because I immediately feel ugly afterwards. I cannot eat in public without having an anxiety attack and thinking "Everyone here is watching me eat. I should eat a salad, I can only eat healthy food in public. They all think I'm fat." So thank you 6th grade teacher for helping me develop an eating complex. Also, did I mention, I wake up everyday believing that I'm ugly. A person can call me beautiful throughout the day but the minute I look in the mirror the compliments are forgotten and negativity is all that comes to mind.
But I do want to thank my bullies. Thank you for teaching me how to be compassionate towards others and thank you for teaching me the importance of kindness. Whenever I see a person who is alone, sad, or too shy to speak with others I approach them. I approach them and talk to them because I know how it feels to be alone, I know how much lonely hurts. When I see a person being picked on or a group of people making fun of someone else, I tell them to stop because I know what being bullied feels like. So thank you bullies for stirring a fire inside me, thank you for inspiring me to fight against negativity and making me want to stand up for others. Bullies, I have a letter for you and so much to thank you for but I'll save that for another time.
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