My name is Jim Waterson. I'm the person on the left. I write about UK politics for BuzzFeed News. The man on the right is Jim Watson, the mayor of Ottawa, Canada's capital city.
Thanks to the wonders of Twitter, every so often messages meant for the attention of powerful municipal chief @JimWatsonOttawa get sent to me, the lowly British journalist @JimWaterson.
Think of it as a low-rent version of the man in the US who keeps getting tweets meant for upmarket department store John Lewis, or the Canadian man who received abuse meant for then Scottish Labour leader Jim Murphy.
Sometimes I forward complaints to Jim Watson, in the hope he'll somehow save me from angry Ottawans.
Sadly, he's never actually responded to any of the issues raised. It's almost like he's got better things to do, such as running a major world capital.
But in the name of campaigning journalism on behalf of fat-fingered Canadian internet users everywhere, I decided to give him a call in order to sort out his constituents' complaints.
Luckily, Watson agreed to take the time to have a chat with someone who knows absolutely nothing about Ottawa or Canada.
So, Mayor Watson, what's going on with...
1. This man who got really angry at me about a bus stop.
On holiday and turn on Twitter to find bloke from Ottawa is damn angry about his bus stop. Sort it @JimWatsonOttawa
Why did you take away this poor man's bus stop, Mayor Watson? Why do you want to deprive him of public transport?
"Was that Winston? With the chef’s hat? At one point he was tweeting me so often I had to block him because it was taking up so much space on my Twitter feed. I know exactly where he lives and I think it was a temporary decision to move the bus stop. Just a few weeks ago the bus stop was reinstalled. He’s very persistent."
Well, that seems fair enough.
2. Some man called "Denis Coderre" who tweeted at me about a flag, according to Google Translate.
3. This man who seems to raise a serious campaigning issue about banning corporate donations in local government.
@CBCOttawa @tobi_nussbaum. I think its an excellent idea & long overdue @jimwaterson @cmckenney. #ottawa #vote
Well, Mayor Watson, why *won't* you ban corporate donations? Allowing businesses to buy influence seems like a scandal, especially if they're property developers and waste management firms.
"There was a proposal to ban corporate donations, which are allowed at a provincial level. But I’m different, I didn’t vote to support the ban. We have very strict election financing rules and a company is limited to C$750 (£360), which is not a lot. You know, there is more transparency when you have the corporate name – otherwise corporate presidents just give money as a personal cheque."
Hmm, this one needs further investigation.
4. This total catastrophe with terrible snow covering Ottawa, prompting someone to start DM'ing me pictures in the middle of the night UK time.
.@JimWatsonOttawa Hey Jim, this guy really need a snowplough, can you get it sorted?
Weather chaos. Snowploughs lacking. People unable to leave their homes. WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THIS SCANDAL, MAYOR WATSON? WILL YOU RESIGN?
"We had quite a bad storm between Christmas and New Year, and we were several million dollars over budget in our snow removal budget. I think I received 150 emails from people about getting our street done first. But there’s 6,000 miles of road in Ottawa and everyone wants their road done first.
"With the advent of Twitter everyone has access to politicians very quickly and magnifies the problem and creates the sense there are no ploughs at all."
Well that seems fair enough. Annoyingly.
Anyway, many thanks, Jim Watson. I now know more about Ottawan politics than I ever thought possible.
We've reached an agreement to keep sending each other misdirected tweets and he's suggested I head to Ottawa for Canada's 150th anniversary next year.
And if the tweets don't stop, then I'll just blame Canada.