British Politicians' Christmas Cards Ranked From Worst To Best

Cameron and Miliband go arty, Clegg lets his kids do it. And Godfrey Bloom gets the bongos out.

British politicians stubbornly maintain the tradition of sending official Christmas cards.

Politicians spend hours every December sending cards to thousands of dignitaries and journalists that they don't really like.

Here's how this year's bunch square up.

4. David Cameron's black and white shot tries a bit too hard to be classy.

Supposedly chosen by the Prime Minister himself, the card shows David and Samantha Cameron with daughter Florence in Downing Street. But it's a bit saccharine. And doesn't have any mention of Christmas on the front.

3. Former UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom goes out of his way to be... oh we don't even know.

Well at least he's put the effort in. Bloom somehow managed to avoid being kicked out of UKIP in August for talking about sending aid money to "bongo bongo land" – an event which he has referenced in this Christmas card using a subtle visual metaphor.

The MEP was eventually forced out of the party in September after calling a room of women "sluts" for not cleaning behind their fridges. Which Katie, his wife, now illustrates.

This is a man who knows no shame.

2. Labour leader Ed Miliband goes for predictable and inoffensive.

Ed Miliband – everyone's favourite jeans-wearing 40-something Robbie Williams-listening Dad – walks along Brighton beach during Labour's annual conference in September. His wife Justine is holding three-year-old Samuel, while four-year-old Daniel swings through the air.

It's just a typical shot of a perfectly normal North London family who have gone away for the week to take the sea air and announce a multi-billion pound attack on energy company profits.

Bonus points for remembering to mention Christmas on the front.

1. But it's Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg who accurately captures the real tackiness of Christmas.

Clegg abandons the pretence that you can project a statesman-like image on a folded piece of A4 card.

Instead the Liberal Democrat leader let his kids deface a shot of him looking exhausted, slumped on a sofa alongside his wife Miriam, presumably with a couple of large glasses of red wine just out of shot. Basically, a pretty accurate depiction of the day itself. It's great.

As a favour to the other politicians we've updated their cards in Clegg's style.

Miliband wraps up in special elf shoes to keep down the cost of living.

Bloom defuses the bongos by turning them into christmas tree pots.

While Cameron is very doge.

Better luck next year.