1. When on the tube, it's important to pretend no one else exists - not matter what.
2. However, you may exchange a brief look with fellow passengers if the service is delayed.
3. If someone in front of you waits for the barrier to close before they insert their ticket, you do this:
4. On the other hand, when you get through without breaking your stride you feel like this guy:
4. Tube signs can be confusing.
5. And if you fall asleep down there, someone is going to take your photo.
6. If someone tries to press the button to open the doors, you do this:
7. There's no feeling of righteous vindication quite like your Oyster card working on the third attempt.
8. Any wait above 3 minutes feels like a total outrage.
9. It's polite to give up your seat for the very young, the very old, the very pregnant and the very drunk.
10. Working underground all day can cause some staff to lose it.
11. If someone needs told to move up the carriage when it's busy, you do this:
12. An empty escalator is an invitation to fool around.
13. The pests can be a problem.
14. Despite all this, sometimes, just sometimes, travelling on the Underground gives you a reason to smile.
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