Everyone Is Freaking Out That Twitter Is Switching To An Algorithmic Timeline

Chronological chaos.

Originally posted on
Updated on

On Friday night, BuzzFeed News revealed that Twitter plans to introduce an algorithmic timeline — instead of the usual reverse chronological order — as soon as next week. And Twitter's users were not happy.

Tfw Twitter switches to an algorithm based timeline

Like, people were just really pissed and freaking out.

I'm leaving Twitter and moving to Canada.

I'd vote for @realDonaldTrump if he can stop @Twitter from implementing the algorithm.

Some observed how there are a variety of changes Twitter users have been asking for, but that the heads of the social network have ignored them.

Twitter's To-Do List: 1) Algorithmic sorting that no one asked for ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... 173) Edit button that every asks for

Many speculated that it was the end of the already-struggling social network.

me at twitter's funeral after they introduce an algorithm

Others thought the change would turn Twitter into a Facebook-like service.

Us: Can we have an edit feature? Twitter: Moments tab! Us: Edit feature? Twitter: Hearts! Us: EDIT. FEATURE. Twitter: We're Facebook now.

Some were unconvinced the changes would actually happen:

Let's see if the Twitter TL algorithm rumor even turns out to be true. We've heard these types of rumors before.

And others wondered about the metaphysical ramifications of the change:

What if humans started to experience time as an algorithm of the popular rather than lived narratively ordered experience?

There was also some concern about the quality of Twitter's algorithm.

Here's the algorithm Twitter will use to decide what to show on your timeline

Basically, people were really, really upset.

A look at Twitter before and after the algorithm news:

Twitter will next release an algorithm that makes people pretend their stock price isn't chronological, either.

GET READY FOR SOME EXCITING CHANGES! WE'VE HEARD YOUR DEMANDS!!! NOW, INSTEAD OF "TWEETS", A RUSTY DULL SYRINGE JABS U IN THE EYE!! -twitter

Finally, we have compiled all the tweets we could find from people excited about Twitter's bold new experiment with algorithmic timelines:

[space intentionally left blank]

While Jack Dorsey — Twitter's co-founder and CEO — was quiet on social media Friday, a senior software engineer at the social network tried to alleviate people's fears:

Seriously people. We aren't idiots. Quit speculating about how we're going to "ruin Twitter"

  1. How do you feel about Twitter rolling out algorithmic timelines:

    This is great. I love algorithmic timelines!
    Nope. I'm done with Twitter.
    Sigh.
    I just use Snapchat.

Everyone Is Freaking Out That Twitter Is Switching To An Algorithmic Timeline

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How do you feel about Twitter rolling out algorithmic timelines:
  1.  
    vote votes
    This is great. I love algorithmic timelines!
  2.  
    vote votes
    Nope. I'm done with Twitter.
  3.  
    vote votes
    Sigh.
  4.  
    vote votes
    I just use Snapchat.