20 Confusing Things In The Mighty Ducks Trilogy

The Mighty Ducks trilogy makes you want to stand up and cheer but when you watch them as much as I have, you notice some discrepancies.

1. How did Gordon Bombay wind up coaching The Ducks?

Gordon Bombay is a hot shot lawyer in Minnesota who used to play hockey. He is known around the office as a total dick. So how did this guy get to coach a pee-wee hockey team? Gordo gets busted for drunk driving but instead of going to a few AA meetings, the judge thinks it will be fun to have him coach a local team. Seriously? This man has a problem and needs some counseling but it would be better to ignore that and send him to coach a game he hasn't been near in a long time. The judge must be happy that it all worked out.

2. Lane Smith being a hockey coach.

Is anyone else not convinced that Lane Smith is a hockey coach? Smith was born in Memphis, Tennessee and is one of those people who cannot cover up their accent. A normal hockey coach has that classic Canadian accent and its almost comical every time they talk. I'm not bashing Lane Smith as an actor (in fact he plays a really good jerk) but it would have worked better if this movie was about two pee-wee football teams and he was the mean football coach.

3. Hans's bias toward the Ducks.

Hans owns the local hockey shop in the city and by the looks of it, it seems like THE place to get hockey equipment. Throughout the trilogy, Hans is seen praising the Ducks, letting them go on a shopping spree in his shop, and even helps get the Ducks Adam Banks because of some stupid district rule. What the hell Hans! This isn't a good business practice. You have a great store that probably every team buys from but as soon as it gets around that you have this love for one team they will probably go for the local Sports Authority instead.

4. How big is Fulton Reed?

Fulton Reed is the heavy hitting and hard shooting defenseman who only hits the net 1 out of 5 times. He is a late addition to the Ducks but usually helps them out of jams when it comes to preppy hockey bullies (looking at you Banks). During one scene Fulton picks up three Hawks players by himself and the camera angles make him look at least 6 feet tall. Later on, we see Fulton practicing with Bombay during pre-game and he is only as tall or maybe a little shorter than Gordo, with skates on! Disney make up your mind with this kid. Also, eye-black during a hockey game???

5. Pee Wee hockey in Minnesota has its own newspaper.

Ok so I couldn't find an actual picture of it but every time the Ducks win a game, we get this image of them celebrating on the front of some pee wee hockey newspaper. I know hockey is big up north but these kids are only in elementary school. I wish I could have been on some sort of publication every time my 6th grade football team won a game. Bummer.

6. The term "cake eater"

This one always gets me every time I watch the movies. Both Bombay and Adam Banks are always insulted by Jesse Hall who proceeds to call them "cake eater." This never makes sense to me. Am I supposed to feel bad that I do in fact eat cake? Is cake really a bad thing? Am I looked at in a negative way if I choose to eat cake? It is just something that makes you scratch your head.

7. Charlie doesn't seem to mind that Gordo is making out with his mom.

I keep thinking of the line from "Bill and Ted," "Its your mom dude!" But seriously, he has this huge grin on his face when Gordo swoops in and gets the movie ending kiss.

8. The entire team making Team USA.

Okay so when the people from the Junior Goodwill Games want to get a hockey team together they decide to choose one entire team from Minnesota. Throw in a couple of other players from odd locations around the country and you have your team USA. My problem with this is that every one makes this team. I can see Adam Banks, Charlie Conway, and Fulton Reed making the team but guys like Avermann and Goldberg? If you've been on a successful sports team at any point in your lifetime there are always a few players that you know are not good.

9. The Knucklepuck

The Knucklepuck argument is probably the most well known argument when the Mighty Ducks are mentioned. The Knucklepuck requires you to get the puck at the blue line, stop, prop the puck on its edge, and then slap shot. This takes forever to set up and any good defenseman will just stand in front and poke the puck away. The Knuckleball is one of the hardest pitches in baseball to hit because the ball is just floating in the air and the batter has to hit it. With the Knucklepuck the goalie just needs to put his body in front of it and we have a save.

10. Hans sends his brother to give a pep talk.

Hans was Gordon's mentor in the first movie. He helps Bombay and gives him great advice in how to coach the Ducks. So when Gordon forgets about the true meaning of hockey in the second movie who comes to the rescue? Hans's brother Jan. Who tells Bombay that he used to love the game. Really? We all are just okay with this guy coming in and replacing the great and wise Hans? I get so upset when he shows up.

11. Team USA switching to the Ducks jerseys.

So during the second intermission of the final game. The team is feeling a little bummed because they are getting their asses kicked by Iceland. Bombay pulls out the secret weapon, the Mighty Ducks jerseys! I'm pretty sure there is some sort of rule about a team switching jerseys right in the middle of a game let alone a gold medal game. Secondly, the entire crowd is perfectly okay with the team ditching the USA jerseys in favor of some weird aqua, purple, and white garbage. Also, the sponsors of Team USA must have lost their shit when they came out for the third period. Way to represent your country guys.

12. Iceland is the tough team to beat.

I feel like Disney didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings with this choice. I'm not convinced that Iceland is an amazing hockey team. The players do play great hockey and they also are all well over 6 ft tall (I want to see some birth certificates). They make a great tough looking team. Disney should have done their research on this one. Make the team from Norway or Sweden (they actually play good hockey) and make the sports fans happy.

13. The Ducks getting scholarships to a prep school.

This goes back to #7 and again not everyone is good enough to be on the same team. Im sure there were other places across the country trying to recruit these guys for their prep school, and maybe even some of the Ducks split up but its not the case.

14. Gordon Bombay quitting the team.

Such a let down. This coach brought a bunch of rag tag kids together but he decides to bail and join up with the Goodwill Games? What a jerk! It wouldn't bother me as much if he said goodbye and never showed his face on the screen again but he comes back to tell Charlie not to quit on his team, IN THE SAME MOVIE. Gordo is such a dick.

15. The prep school is supposedly in Minnesota.

Eden Hall, the place where the Ducks get scholarships, is this prestigious prep school in Minnesota where all of our Ducks get to play hockey. I'm sorry but if it was really Minnesota then where is the snow? Hockey is a winter sport and not once when they are outside is there snow on the ground. They are not even bundled up they are just wearing little sport jackets. Way to go and not think about location Disney.

16. Goldberg's Inconsistencies

Let's face it, as much as we all love Goldberg, he isn't the best goalie. Even when you watch all three movies he lets up so many goals that he is lucky that the offense is able to keep them in the game. Bombay pulls him at the end of the second movie so that Julie can make the final save. I'm suprised that Gordo didn't try and ask someone else to give goaltending a shot. Like Averman when did he do anything offensively? Finally the JV coach gets it and makes Goldberg a defender in the third movie.

17. The Wager

So before the JV/Varsity game, Charlie makes this bet with the captain of the varsity that if the JV wins they have to change the logo to the Ducks logo. This seems like a cool thing to do until you realize that Charlie is only doing this for his little girlfriend who is petitioning for the mascot to be changed from Warriors to something else. Warriors isn't even that bad and Charlie you probably wont even care about this girl when you get to junior year.

18. Dean Portman's surprise entrance during the JV/Varsity game.

The second Bash Brother apparently didn't accept the scholarship that was offered to him by Eden Hall. This makes us believe that they couldn't get the actor back for the third film and it really is disheartening. And then all of a sudden Portman comes back to the team and rejoins the team for the third period.

#1: I pretty sure since Portman wasn't dressed to start the game he can't play the third period.

#2: The JV coach (who has no idea if Portman is any good) is completely okay with this.

#3: Why did Portman decide to come back now?

#4: Seriously, I thought we wrote him out of the movie why is he back?

(He also strips in the penalty box which I'm pretty sure is another penalty or an ejection)

19. Why do so many people care about a JV/Varsity game?

Its like the entire student body, alumni, and parents show up to this game. Its not like it counts in their record. I thought the JV scrimmaged the Varsity in every practice? No big deal. I guess its more than a game at Eden Hall.

20. Disney didn't keep the Ducks in Minnesota.

So the original Mighty Ducks was released in 1992. The next year the Minnesota North Stars moved to Dallas and the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim were established out in California. So much blasphemy here. This doesn't even concern the movies themselves but since Disney was involved I feel the need to express my anger. I know Disney started out in California but why couldn't the Ducks be in their true hometown? Also that logo is just absolutely dreadful.