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The 16 Times You Peed Your Pants While Watching True Detective, Season One

SPOILER ALERT. Also, spoiled pants alert.

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1. Whenever they found one of these twiggy creations.

Via trudetective.tumblr.com

Ahhh the triangular twigs!

2. When birds swirled.

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LIKE THEY SWIRLED IN HIS MIND!

3. Whenever they asked someone about the tall guy with scars on his face...

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...and that person was like, yeah, totally, I've seen the tall guy with the scars on his fucking face.

4. When this kid flipped her shit.

Via volimtedzeko.tumblr.com

5. When they went into the burned-out church...

Via hbotruedetective.tumblr.com

...and only found a HORRIFYING DEPICTION OF RITUALISTIC MURDER.

6. Whenever Rust and Marty go it alone...

Via truedetectiveshow.tumblr.com

...because they're total renegades, or like, there's no phone signal. Or it's the '90s and cell phones don't exist yet.

7. Whenever they brought up the green-eared spaghetti monster.

Via truedetectiveshow.tumblr.com

ARGH THE GREEN-EARED SPAGHETTI MONSTER!

8. When there was this never-ending shot of a never-ending shootout.

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AAAAAHHHHHH!!!

9. When time was a flat circle.

Via truedetectiveshow.tumblr.com

Nnnooo but time is linear I want it to be lineeeaaarrrr!

10. When you thought for a second that Rust was the bad guy.

Via truedetectiveshow.tumblr.com

NO I THOUGHT RUST WAS GOOD!

11. When you were so agitated by everything...

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...that you thought this bridge would fall apart under the weight of their car and kill them both, and then there would be twigs and horns and the yellow king, because TRUE DETECTIVE.

12. When we had our first sneak peak at Reggie Ledoux.

Via hbotruedetective.tumblr.com

WHAT IS HE EVEN DOING.

13. When this guy stood up...

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...AND TURNED OUT TO BE REALLY TALL.

14. AND THEN JUST KEPT MOWING THE LAWN.

Via jessicaisgray.tumblr.com

EVEN THOUGH HE IS OBVIOUSLY THE TALL GUY THEY'RE LOOKING FOR. FUCK.

15. WHEN THE UNIVERSE IMPLODED.

Via iwndr.tumblr.com

AHHH THIS TIME I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS IN HIS MIND!

16. When season one was already over.

Via elyamartell.tumblr.com

WHAT ABOUT THE TUTTLES?!

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