10 Things You Need To Do To Prepare For Zombie Invasion

A quick prep guide for all of you who would prefer to shoot the zombies from your own damn roof.

1. Knock, Knock Know-How

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All irrational fears aside, if zombies did start clawing at your door it would not be with any superhuman strength. If they are in fact Zombies (in the undead Romero way) we can fully expect them to be decomposing from where they stand. The easiest way to ward these guys off is by simply reinforcing your wimpy wooden door with a stainless steel one.

Affordable and impenetrable to zombies and insurance salesmen, these doors will do you plenty of favors. Might as well go for the triple point locks too, zombies hate those.

2. Don't Worry About Window Views

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Go ahead and board up all of those windows and hang a nice Bob Ross painting over them. It will be like windows, but puffier and happier.

3. Get Off The Fence About Fences

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Electric fences kept zombies out pretty well in Land of the Dead. What is good enough for Romero is good enough for you, and in the mean time you won't have to worry about your dog trying to pull a fast on ya.

4. Close The Stairway From Hell

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Got a two story house? Good news for you! Your chances of out-living your one-floored neighbors is pretty high. Just dismantle that pesky staircase and stick to a rope ladder for emergencies.

5. Never Underestimate Blunt Force Trauma

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If you've seen any recent zombie movie or show, you should have figured out that guns should never be your only weapon. If you don't know why this is so, then simply throw in the towel and accept your role as a Zombie snack.

6. Give Your Chainsaws to Stupid Neighbors

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Chainsaws are really awesome when you stumble upon them in a videogame, but they are idiotic for killing Zombies in real life. Be a man, use a hammer.

7. Take Sides

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Now that you've got your doors and windows figured out, might as well upgrade your siding for good measure. I would recommend a quality fiber cement siding, though you will be hard pressed to find a company that is known for zombie-proofing, it is still better than linoleum.

8. Have Fun

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Zombie invasions are exhausting. Don't let exhaustion turn into paranoia and insanity, but maybe bring a lot of games and things to keep your mind occupied when you are not living out your Nazi Zombie fantasies.

9. Remember You Can't Live Off Photosynthesis

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Get food, grow plants. It doesn't matter how crazy you look when ringing up 500 cans of spam or how disgusted you are that you are buying spam.

10. Keep a Low-Profile

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Even if you feel pretty smug and protected in your fortress, it's nothing a sea of zombies can't tackle. Keep things quiet.

11. Or Steal Someone Else's Idea

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If all of that seems like too much work, but you still don't want to die during a Zombie Invasion, this home seems to do the trick right off the market.

A quick shout out to MentorMob for creating the wonderful Zombie Survival Playlist from which I was able to make this article. See the full thing here