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Posted on May 1, 2014

9 Ways To Tell If Your Life Is An Unpublished Haruki Murakami Novel

Have you noticed that your possessions are quietly vanishing? Are your personal relationships marked by growing chasms of ennui? Do you consistently find yourself attracted to holes? You could be having an existential crisis, or you might be unconsciously mired in one of the surrealist worlds of Japanese author Haruki Murakami. Here are nine ways to tell if it’s the latter.

by jessjessjessjess

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9 Ways To Tell If Your Life Is An Unpublished Haruki Murakami Novel

1. You begin to see familiar landmarks and landscapes as overly illuminated, as if there are two moons in the sky that only you can see.

2. You feel like you are constantly being watched by inanimate, but curious, objects that may actually be signs that hint to the location of a missing object or forgotten lover.

3. You live in a densely populated metropolis but find it to be alien and anxious, rather than exciting. You have no explanation for this sentiment because you cannot grasp your own emotions.

4. You see every unmarked door as a possible portal to a parallel universe. If you find a numbered door, you will try to recall if any mysterious woman with dead-on intuition or kind-hearted war veteran mentioned that specific number in passing.

5. Contemporary options overwhelm you. You prefer simplicity and time-honored sophistication to novelty. You prefer jazz to pop, coffee to juice, sex to phone calls, and reading to radio.

6. You pick apart simple pleasures to try to imagine the people behind them. This annoys your friends and/or partners to no end.

7. Your senses have become dulled by increasing amounts of sleep. It is increasingly difficult to tell which events are taking place in which consciousness.

8. Your friends and neighbors, while well-meaning and helpful, you eventually abandon until you are left with one person who embodies some kind of unpredictable metaphysical love.

9. You see cats, everywhere.

9 Ways To Tell If Your Life Is An Unpublished Haruki Murakami Novel

1. You begin to see familiar landmarks and landscapes as overly illuminated, as if there are two moons in the sky that only you can see.

2. You feel like you are constantly being watched by inanimate, but curious, objects that may actually be signs that hint to the location of a missing object or forgotten lover.

3. You live in a densely populated metropolis but find it to be alien and anxious, rather than exciting. You have no explanation for this sentiment because you cannot grasp your own emotions.

4. You see every unmarked door as a possible portal to a parallel universe. If you find a numbered door, you will try to recall if any mysterious woman with dead-on intuition or kind-hearted war veteran mentioned that specific number in passing.

5. Contemporary options overwhelm you. You prefer simplicity and time-honored sophistication to novelty. You prefer jazz to pop, coffee to juice, sex to phone calls, and reading to radio.

6. You pick apart simple pleasures to try to imagine the people behind them. This annoys your friends and/or partners to no end.

7. Your senses have become dulled by increasing amounts of sleep. It is increasingly difficult to tell which events are taking place in which consciousness.

8. Your friends and neighbors, while well-meaning and helpful, you eventually abandon until you are left with one person who embodies some kind of unpredictable metaphysical love.

9. You see cats, everywhere.

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