11 Questions You Get Asked Whilst On Study Abroad In Australia

From Melbourne to Darwin and Perth to Cairns, if I can guarantee one thing on your study abroad year, it is that the minute Australian’s hear your British accent they will bombard you with the following 11 questions. So prepare yourself for 12 months of tongue biting, fake laughing and abrupt ends to conversations.

1. Have you tried Vegemite?

Perhaps the first questions on an Australian's lips when they find out you're not native, is "have you ever tried Vegemite?". They force this brown, sticky mess upon you like a proud parent bragging about their ugly child. Unfortunately, yes, I have tried it and it's not an experience I wish to repeat. Now, pass me the Marmite.

2. Have You Ever Met The Queen?

A close contender for the most asked question; of course all English people have met her. When she is not busy on state duties, Liz, Phillip and I like to catch up over a Nando’s – she’s a lemon and herb kind of girl, in case you’re wondering.

3. Do You Watch Geordie Shore?

Unfortunately, the Geordie Shore cast visited Australia and their “tashin’ on” left a bad taste in Australian’s mouths (no pun intended). No, I don’t watch it and no, we’re not all alcoholic, tanorexic, foul-mouthed beings.

4. Have You Seen The Sea Before?

Have you seen a world map before? Australian’s are surprised to find out that we have seen the sea before and have the rare ability to swim, despite the fact we live on an island surrounded by – yes you guessed it – SEA!

5. Do You Go To Amsterdam Every Weekend?

You can fit the UK into Australia 31 times and still have a bit left over. With this in mind, Australian’s assume we go for breakfast by Tower Bridge, lunch outside the Colosseum and dinner on the Champs-Élysées, all before making it home in time for the X Factor. As great as it would be to fill our weekends with pot smoking and prostitutes, we somehow resist the 14 hour round trip every weekend. Besides, we wouldn’t want to miss our Sunday roast with the Queen would we?

6. Do You Find Australia Hot?

Many Australian’s assume we live in igloos and that we have never experienced temperatures above freezing. You will be surprised to hear that we too are mammals with sweat glands and thanks to evolution, we are able to maintain the same body temperature as you.

7. Have You Ever Tried A Pie?

Pies date back to the Ancient Egyptians, but Australian’s are adamant they came up with this ingenious idea. British men invented the telephone, photography and light bulbs and all the Australian’s brought to the table was meat in a pastry casing. But in answer to your question, yes, we have been known to enjoy a pie or two in Britain – that’s when we’re not drinking tea and eating crumpets, of course.

8. WHY DOO YOO TORK LIIIKE THIIIIS?

99.9% of the time, when an Australian person hears your accent and realises you’re a “pommy”, they will continue the rest of the conversation in a very slow, very inaccurate British accent. The fake laughs get tiresome after the 187365 time hearing this awful impression, but many Australian’s are lacking in the wit department, so let them have their moment.

9. What Soccer Team Do You Support?

One preconception Australian’s have of English people, is that they are all raging football hooligans (thanks to the likes of Green Street); it is beyond comprehension that we don’t all dedicate our lives to the game. As if this question isn’t enough of a conversation killer, I have then been asked if my favourite London team is Manchester United, at which point all hope of a half decent conversation flies out of the window.

10. You're From Leeds? So Just Outside of London?

No matter where in Britain you say you are from, Australian’s will assume this is a suburb of London. The only measurement of distance they can comprehend is how many hours away you are from the capital, so save yourself the grief and reply with a simple “yes” when they scream that infamous Forgetting Sarah Marshall quote “YOU SOUND LIKE YOU’RE FROM LANDAN”.

11. Is The Eiffel Tower In London?

Last but not least – unfortunately I am speaking from experience – there are a select few Australian’s who believe this Parisian landmark is in fact situated in Clapham Common. If and when you are asked this question, smile politely and ensure you never cross paths with this imbecile again.