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1. Electrical plugs are NOT all the same…
2. When you phone home - it requires a mathematical algorithm before your number.
3. You discover that Coles & Woolworths are only a big deal in Australia…
4. Sadly, you find out Sportsgirl and Dotti are NOT global brands...
5. Until you realise that shops in other countries rock and you go kinda nuts…
6. You have an epiphany that AFL is not the “SICKEST SPORT” ever known to man.
7. You find out the one ‘extras gig’ you did on Home & Away when you were a teenager is a MASSIVE crowd pleaser at parties.
8. And you start to believe it was way more special than it really was...
9. Having to pay money to lie on a beach makes your blood boil.
10. And the quality of the beaches makes you even angrier.
11. No one has heard of:
12. Or watched:
13. You mistakenly believed TIM TAM chocolate biscuits were a staple in every country ...
14. In fact, every brand of anything you grew up with is gone.
15. You humbly acknowledge there's a lot you don’t know about in the big bad world
16. When people ask you about the Australian government, you look at them blankly and then mumble, “I try not to get involved.”
17. You realise that Holden Utes are not as primal and sexy as you originally thought
18. And your whole perception of "sexy" might be very wrong…
19. At parties, when people drop names of foreign cities, you nod and pretend you know where that hell that is.
20. Suddenly, your misspent youth drinking Passion Pop in the Woolworth’s car park seems embarrassing.
21. And you start to see yourself as a little "uncultured."
22. While other people start sentences with, “once when I was in Rome…” yours start with, “once when I was wasted at the pub…”
23. To start with, you thought people liked your cute Aussie accent...
24. And before long, when you call your family and friends back home, you cringe at their harsh accent
25. Although everyone sounds very excited to visit Australia, you figure out they never actually plan on travelling that far.
26. When you lived in Australia you had a small circle of close friends...
27. Your eyes have been opened up to your lack of culture and naivety...
28. But you can't help but be smug that at least you've been to Australia and all these other WANKERS haven't!!!
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