Italy. More like Eat-a-ly. The land of everything beautiful; from the breathtaking coastlines to the fresh cuisine, from the ancient cities to the captivating language… I ate it all up. [Buonissimo]. After learning the quirks and customs of the culture, I not only began to appreciate the Italian way of life… but instead fell head over plate in love with this delicious country during my 5 month stay-cation.
1. Accordions
What? I love accordions. I love hearing the charm of the accordion when I'm walking through the child sized cobble stone streets of the seaside towns, slurping my melted gelato. And when I'm watching the sunset from my Italian lover's rooftop terrace as he bakes me homemade pizzas and pours me local brews. And when I've just sat down for dinner and a glass [who am I kidding…a bottle] of wine with my friends after returning from a long day coastin' along the Italian Riviera on my beaten up rental scooter.
2. Smooches on the Cheek
Handshakes and awkward hugs should be reserved for business meetings and dates gone wrong. When I meet up with my bestie at a café or say "See you betches later!" after downing a few vodka sodas, I don't want to extend my hand and shake it like we're sporting a suit and tie. But I also don't want to go in for a hug and awkwardly stick my booty in the face of the poor [or lucky] gentleman sitting at the table behind me. But even more so, I don't want to stand there with my hands moving back and forth like I'm doing the robot just because I don't know which greeting to give a go. Europeans are doing it right. Nothing says "Ciao" better than a quick peck on each cheek.
3. Luscious Lifeguards
I know it may be cliché… but I also know that clichés are clichés for a reason. THEY ARE TRUE. Italy, for some odd reason, has more private beaches than they do public ones. Meaning they have more luscious lifeguards for single me. [No complaints]. I'm pretty sure if I were to stumble across the "requirements" of an Italian lifeguard it would read something along the lines of: "Must have beautiful face. Perfectly sculpted body. Ability to tan easily. And hey, if you can swim it's a plus."
4. Wine 0'clock
I am by no means an alcoholic… just a wine-o. [There's a difference]. In Italy, sweet sweet Italy, it is ALWAYS appropriate to have a glass of wine because you are fortunately surrounded by other wine-os. Whether it's your lunch break and you're poppin' the prosecco solo style, chuggin' bottles of Chianti while holding up the leaning tower of Pisa, or sippin' a secco for aperitivo. Either way, no judgement here. It's always wine 0'clock.
5. La la Language
With a million ways to tell a woman she's beautiful, while at the same time a million ways to call her a betch… What's not to love about the Italian language? I love the way each word rolls off the tongue just to be followed by an equally as beautiful one. [Even if it is a curse word]. The way the local's voices go up and down in tone creating a singsong ripple through the shops and streets. I swear they can make going to the dentist sound like a beautiful day in paradise. I love the way they shrug and say "BOH" whenever they are unsure. The way they can say F*** you, I don't care, and come the freak on… all with their hands. I love the way a guy could tell me I look about as beautiful as a rotten eggplant and I would still think it sounds romantic.
6. Ge-freakin-lato
Every day in Italy I struggle with the same battle: gelato or bikini bod? And every day it is the same victor… gelato. I stumble into the welcoming doors of the Gelateria and stare intently at all the mouth watering flavors and trying to imagine which would be the most satisfying…even though deep down I know I love them all, in their own special way. I more often than not settle on three award winning flavors and watch as my new bestie stacks them on top of my chocolate covered cone. I shovel it in so fast because I tell myself it will melt if I don't, but really I just can't help my primitive instincts. Boom. It's gone, leaving me dreaming about the next Battle Gelati.
7. Betchin' Beaches
I'm a betch… I mean beach… bum and at the same time a bit of a beach snob. I've bummed it out on the best beaches from Hawaii to Southeast Asia, crowning myself the beach queen. So believe me when I tell you, there aren't beaches with comparable charm as the ones found along the Italian coasts. I'll never get tired of hearing the men from Naples yelling "Cocco! Cocco bello! Solo un euro!" as they sell coconut [from who knows where] along the rocky beaches of the Riviera. Or being blinded by the perfectly bronzed and buff lifeguards in their banana hammocks as they keep watch over the private beaches. And I will never ever get tired of the salty sunset swims in the crystal clear water while you picnic on the beach with your family and friends. Depending on where along the coast you decide to set up camp you'll find a different yet equally beautiful slice of pizza… I mean paradise.
8. Denim Suits and Louis Vuitton
We all know the Italians have style and I'm pretty sure we have all heard of the two little cities called Milan and Rome, 2 of the top 10 fashion capitals in the world [just to be clear]. With that being said, I don't think even its reputation can prepare you for the beautifulness of the Italian people… and their closets. I love how every teen and their mothers [and grandmothers] are strutting the streets in their converse and vintage Louis Vuitton handbags and backpacks. How every one seems to be able to rock a Canadian tuxedo, no matter how weird I thought denim on denim may look. And I love how leather is not a luxury… it's a staple.
9. Ciao!
Italy might be populated by a little over 60 million people, almost doubling that of my sweet home California's… but it somehow feels even smaller. Everywhere I go I am greeted like a celebrity, or better yet… a neighbor. I love the simple, "Ciao Jessica!" No matter if I see the butcher, the ex boy toy, or the Olympic water polo player… I'll get a "Ciao!"
10. Famiglia
By no means have I been everywhere or met everyone, but I must say I don't think you can find a family quite like the welcoming, force feeding, loud and loving families of Italy. Just as food and football are like religion, so is family. When you go to a friend's house for dinner you are greeted by nothing less than a fat smile and a full blown conversation in Italian. Your plates are never empty, because even when you're full and on the cusp of explosion, apparently there's still room for more pasta. And even if you didn't plan on drinking, your wine glass is continuously being refilled to the rim. But really the best part is, that no matter what language you speak or where you come from in the world, they make you feel like family.
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