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Someone Invented A Hairbrush Selfie Machine Or Something

The world is a vampire.

The end times are nigh...

...for many reasons, least among them this new "invention" wherein you shove your $400 pocket computer into a pastel plastic brush contraption and then pretend it has a new use.
racked.com

...for many reasons, least among them this new "invention" wherein you shove your $400 pocket computer into a pastel plastic brush contraption and then pretend it has a new use.

They call it a "Selfie Brush" because, of course they do.

Never mind the fact that it's actually not in any way helpful to put your phone ~2 inches higher and then have to reach around a brush handle to take the photo.
racked.com

Never mind the fact that it's actually not in any way helpful to put your phone ~2 inches higher and then have to reach around a brush handle to take the photo.

In the spirit of journalism, let's examine exactly what this brush claims to do...maybe we just don't "get" it.

"Paddle brush gives professional results"...okay, sure. We'll give them that one.
amazon.com

"Paddle brush gives professional results"...okay, sure. We'll give them that one.

"Easy to find in pocket book"...TRUE. This one is actually very true.

If this actually FIT in your pocket book, you definitely wouldn't lose it.
amazon.com

If this actually FIT in your pocket book, you definitely wouldn't lose it.

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"Offers superior phone protection"...yeah, we'll buy it.

If you drop this clumsy monstrosity of a tool and the phone doesn't fall on its face, or slip out of the case, this might actually give it some cushion and absorb the shock.
amazon.com

If you drop this clumsy monstrosity of a tool and the phone doesn't fall on its face, or slip out of the case, this might actually give it some cushion and absorb the shock.

"Ability to text or make a phone call with phone in brush"...No.

What you don't see here is this woman stabbing herself repeatedly in the chest with that handle. And talking on the phone...
amazon.com

What you don't see here is this woman stabbing herself repeatedly in the chest with that handle. And talking on the phone...

...HAHAHAhaha. Ok, what. That actually looks hilarious.

And yet, not gunna happen. Bring back the selfie stick. At least that makes sense.
amazon.com

And yet, not gunna happen. Bring back the selfie stick. At least that makes sense.

If for some reason you would like to purchase this for a frienemy or your least favorite niece, get it here.

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