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    Posted on Mar 11, 2015

    Paula Deen Made A Video To Promote Her New iPhone Game And It Is The Stuff Of Nightmares

    Someone gave her a whisk sword and it's not OK.

    If you've ever been on YouTube, you've probably seen the ubiquitous slowed-down videos of Paula Deen.

    Paula Deen Ventures

    It seems her company, Paula Deen Ventures, has decided to get in on the phenomenon to promote their new mobile game with this terrifying "sizzle reel."

    First, let's look at some screenshots:

    Paula Deen Ventures

    She's VERY excited about that measuring cup.

    And OMG so much cream.

    Paula Deen Ventures

    That's six gallons of hee-vee creeem, y'all.

    Who gave her a whisk saber?

    Paula Deen Ventures

    The eyes. So piercing. So large.

    Paula Deen Ventures

    Now, let's look at Paula in motion:

    Paula Deen Ventures

    Again, we didn't slow these down. This is the speed of the entire video.

    Paula Deen Ventures

    Spoiler: that's not flour.

    Paula Deen Ventures
    Paula Deen Ventures
    Paula Deen Ventures

    When you whip an egg it turns into a ham??

    Paula Deen Ventures

    WTF is this game about?

    Then she gets up on the damn table with a HUGE rolling pin.

    Paula Deen Ventures

    And for a terrifying second, Paula interrupts a reflection of another Paula.

    Paula Deen Ventures

    Watch the video in its entirety here:

    View this video on YouTube

    youtube.com

    iTunes is unfortunately down, so we still don't know what the game is actually about. So for now, all we have is this haunting avatar:

    Paula Deen Ventures