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    12 Lingerie Brands That Think Nipples Are Too Scandalous

    If you're going to sell lingerie, don't be such a boob about it.

    1. The Contrast Sheer Bra from Forever21 seems pretty normal.

    Until you notice one strange thing...

    Her nipples are gone!

    2. There's also the Trenta Soft Cup Bra from Nordstrom.

    Nipple-free indeed! With some pretty shoddy blending evidence.

    3. And the Victoria's Secret Chantilly Lace Halter Bra.

    victoriassecret.com

    No nips in sight.

    4. The Fleur du Mal Bra from Barney's is mal indeed.

    barneys.com

    Mal is WRONG in French, btw.

    5. All the hanky panky going on with this Fishnet Bra involves a rogue blending tool.

    6. This woman in this Free People Bra perhaps lost her nipples in a tragic bird accident.

    Those are birds, right?

    7. The Vixen Halter Bra from Free People has a lot going on.

    Underwire? Check.

    Fringe lace? Check.

    Halter straps? Check.

    Nipples? Ah, f*ck.

    8. There's something fishy about the Delirious Triangle Bralette from Barney's.

    barneys.com

    Not a nip in sight. Bermuda triangle is more like it.

    9. Et tu, Frederick's of Hollywood??

    fredericks.com

    There's definitely something naughty about this Naughty Strappy Mesh Bra. BUT IT'S NOT THE COOL FUN KIND OF NAUGHTY.

    10. The Golden Key Bralette from Only Hearts lets you in on its secret, at least.

    You have to wear pasties underneath it. Because lady nipples are so terrible.

    11. The Kimchi Blue Lace Triangle Bra from Urban Outfitters has the same problem.

    urbanoutfitters.com

    Another tragic nipple accident.

    12. If you listen closely, you can hear the woman in this Whisper Teddy from Nordstrom whispering..."Where are my nipples?"

    But never fear! If you're a lady with nipples and you don't want to lose them, you can always buy this.

    retronaut.com / Via huffingtonpost.com

    FEMALE BEAUTY STANDARDS, AMIRITE?