Are you a fan of the suburbs' favorite lunch joint? Here are some tips for not being a total idiot when you're trying to get your cinnamon crunch bagel, thanks to the highly recommended PaneraProblems_ Twitter.
1.Order acorn soup.
2.Be a predictable teenage girl.
3.Be bewildered by the idea of soup.
4.Lose your shit if you can't get a baguette.
5.Or a BURRITO.
6.Or HASH BROWNS.
7.Be unable to eat literally anything:
8.Fail to handle a bagel shortage and perform crude gestures to employees.
9.Do not understand the difference between a bowl and a cup.
10.Or basic sandwich math!
11.Or anything about anything. Understand nothing.
12.Force someone to concoct you this gross mess.
13.Ask for "FOCK-a-cha" bread.
15.Demand soup that is ontologically impossible.
16.Commit assault and battery over your salad problems.