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Posted on Apr 7, 2017

Rainbow Food Is Literally Garbage

A colorful, glittering pile of (semi) edible garbage.

Rainbow foods have taken over...AND THEY MUST BE STOPPED.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BSDVbD5lnDo/?taken-by=mel_hollywood
www.buzzfeed.com

You might have noticed the rainbow food trend taking your Instagram feed by storm. Foodies are posting pictures of their technicolored foods at an alarming rate. It seems that every day a new rainbow creation is debuted.

Why am I against such a magical and lighthearted trend, you might ask?

Because rainbow food is COMPLETE and TOTAL GARBAGE.

Jesse Szewczyk/Buzzfeed
Jesse Szewczyk/Buzzfeed

Foul, self-indulgent garbage fit for a Brooklyn garbage can.

HOW DID WE LET THIS HAPPEN, PEOPLE?

The rainbow creations have ranged from crass, colorful cupcakes...

themeenakshipatel / Via instagram.com

Sweet, innocent cupcakes...

...to FUCKING FOUL abominations of bagels. How can something this HORRIFIC be called a bagel?

thebagelstore / Via instagram.com

Why so many sprinkles? Why so many colors? Bagels are a browned, delicious tradition passed down for generations. They are NOT a dense, overworked, phosphorescent ring of disappointment.

The rainbow started to show up in the most unholy of places, proving the trend had NO boundaries...

The trend has even destroyed the sanctity of burger- and hotdog-dom.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BNZHmSvgQxr/
https://memegenerator.net

I could no longer tell if my meat was tainted or painted.

Why does a meal have to be a party?

WHY did we let these melted monstrosities happen?

It's time the colorful catastrophe came to an end.

And in case you're wondering, YES I'VE TRIED THIS TREND.

Jesse Szewczyk/Buzzfeed

The worst thing you could do to a milkshake is deck it out with literally all your least favorite childhood candies. I was not excited to taste...

And the outcome prooved unsurprising...

Jesse Szewczyk/Buzzfeed
Jesse Szewczyk/Buzzfeed

Throat-scratching glitter, sprinkles, and rock sugar gave the inside of my mouth an unwanted microdermabrasion.

If unicorn food is your thing, then by all means chow down on your multicolored pizza.

But please, keep me away from this colorful hipster bullshit.

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