26 Questions About Westworld That Keep You Up At Night
Brace yourself for poop and orgy questions folks.
Tomorrow's Westworld finale has some pretty huge questions to answer, like the truth behind "the maze" or MiB's (the man in black) real identity.
But what about the thousands of small questions the show almost never addresses?
We sent a mass email to Westworld fans asking for little questions they'd love answered, and here are the results...
1. "Do hosts poop?"
This is the most common question we got for some reason. We did see one peeing last episode so this one smells like a yes.
2. "Would a shot to the head kill a host?"
One host seemed to deactivate itself by bashing it's own head in with a rock, does this mean a shot to the head could permanently deactivate a host? If so, wouldn't that happen all the time?
3. "Do guests not have some sort of emergency button? Like, 'oh hey, a host is choking me, I'd like a small break.'"
Basically if you're having sex with a murder robot you probably want a safeword!
4. "What carpenter is running around repairing all the bullet holes and broken furniture every night?"
The real MVP.
5. "Are guests required to sleep at certain hours? How else can they be certain they won't stumble upon workers doing repairs?"
Good question, for $40,000 a day I'm not abiding by some curfew, if I stumble around drunk at 6am am I going to see some park worker fixing a kicked-in door?
6. "There are safeguards for guns not hurting guests, but shouldn't knives not be allowed in altogether?"
This one's complicated. While on one hand hosts are programed not to stab guests, surely having blades around is a bad idea. What if a guest uses one on another guest? Which brings us to...
7. "How do guests differentiate who's a host and who's another guest?"
If they accidentally assault another guest can they sue? Does the park intervene? What if they have sex. WHAT IF THEY HAVE SEX. So many questions just in this one area.
8. "If a host has sex with a guest with an STD, it is reasonable to say that host could give the STD to another guest in that day before it's "cleaning??" I have orgy questions."
We all have orgy questions.
9. "What year is it?"
Seriously, how long do we have to wait to buy tickets?
10. "What does the rest of the world look like now?"
This. Are there other orgy parks? Are these robots an established part of our society? Do visiting guests have sex and housekeeping robots at home? If so why visit the park at all?
11. "Since some parts of the park are far away and hard to get to by design — like murderous orgy-town that is Pariah — do the hosts there just cycle through their stories endlessly for days without any guests to see them at all? NO WONDER WESTWORLD IS BLEEDING MONEY."
Why not have them shut down until a guest is within 100 meters or something?
12. "Ok this is a weird one. The park is constantly monitoring guests are they watching you have sex? If do they have harddrives of 1%ers doing disgusting things with robots? Could they use that for blackmail?"
Yes, this is a weird one.
13. "Can you eat host flesh?"
The first question one of Anthony Hopkins previous characters probably would have asked.
14. "Who's the poor bastard that has to clean the host's naughty bits? That's got to be the worst job in the park."
This question feels like a scene from Clerks.
15. "How does money work at the park? I feel like I haven't seen anyone pay for anything, and yet there are still bartenders and shopkeepers, etc. Is everyone just running massive tabs at every establishment?"
I think the MiB paid for something with coins once. Is it like monopoly money? Are you given an allowance?
16. "Some guests seem to be families possibly with kids, is there a 'cleaner' experience option, i.e. no blood or sex?"
How do I sign up for that one?
17. "Can just anyone say 'analysis' and make the hosts speak the truth or is it just the park people?"
And if it's voice specific how can Maeve do it?
18. "Would you have to pay in advance for the time you want to be there as guest, or do you go in and leave your credit card open in case you decide to stay longer? If not, do management come and get you once you've reached the package limit? Are there packages?"
Can confirm, been dragged out of Six Flags by force.
19. "What does the park's legal waiver look like? In that one scene where a host goes crazy the guests who witness it seem traumatized. They have to be able to sue for that, right?"
Do most guests just sign it like an itunes update?
20. "If you can build and program a robot to act exactly like a horse or snake, does that mean you can give a horse or dog a human mind?"
Ok not every question needs to be asked.
21. "Where are the cameras? Are they embedded in walls? Are they attached to flying drones? They appear to be everywhere."
3 words: Future. Go. Pro.
22. "If the company can see and control everything, do they know know about Maeve going rogue?"
Can they see her hiding drawings under the floorboards, or since that's a private moment are there no cameras?
23. "Why are they serving real whiskey to the hosts? Doesn't that get expensive? Are the food and liquor also manufactured by the park? If so what impact does that have on world hunger?"
Ok stop this is making my head hurt.
24. "Are the flies that crawl on host's faces real or are they androids too?"
If they're androids you bet your ass they were made by interns.
25. "Why does nobody at the park headquarters seem notice that Bernard looks exactly like Arnold did before he died?"
Yeah, if a clone of Steve Jobs was working at my local Genius Bar I'd probably take notice.
26. "Seriously though, do they poop?"
Let's see what happens during the finale everyone.