1. Act Like A Normal Human
When you call in, you are talking to a regular human being. One you might encounter in real life, even. Try to act like a regular person. This is more difficult than it sounds. Just be cool.
2. Don’t Be In A Rush
I don’t want to burst anyone’s bubble (jk bursting bubbles is fun, ask any dog or baby), but we don’t want to talk to you any longer than necessary. Try to avoid calling in if you are in a rush, you have to pick up your kids from school in 10 minutes, or are at work and don’t want anyone to know what you’re doing so you creepily whisper into the phone the whole time (slightly off topic, but still valid).
3. Don’t Be Mean
You know the old saying “you catch more flies with honey”? Who cares about flies? Not me. Here’s a better saying: “you get more better customer service by being nice.” We have to deal with disappointed, rude, and generally incoherent customers all day. If you give us a hard time, you’re doing yourself a disservice. If you are polite and patient, it will not go unnoticed.
4. Don’t Say Any of the Following Phrases
“I’m an excellent customer”
“I am very influential on social media”
“I am going to write a letter to your CEO”
“I think Leonardo is the coolest Ninja Turtle”
5. Don’t Call While You Are Driving
I don’t want to be even partially responsible for you dying.
6. Don’t Put Us On Hold
Putting a customer on hold is one of the small joys that comes with being a customer service rep. Don’t take that power away from us. If you can’t talk right now, just call back later.
7. Ask For A Manager As A Last Resort
My job depends on being nice to customers. My manager’s job depends on something else probably. I don't know, I'm not a manager. If we’re unsure about something, or need approval, I promise that we will really check with the manager to see what we can do.
8. Disregard All Of These Tips If You Are Dealing With Time Warner Cable
Do the opposite of everything I just suggested.
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