30 Signs You Went To Emory University

“Excuse me, I’m a Harvard (of the South…OK, it was Emory) graduate.”

1. You once asked for a Pepsi on campus, and were promptly told to leave/transfer.

2. You’re from one of four counties (Nassau, Bergen, Montgomery or Palm Beach).

3. And were shocked/excited whenever you met someone who was ACTUALLY from Georgia.

4. You were taught by Jimmy Carter, the Dalai Lama and Salman Rushdie, and never missed a chance to remind your friends from home.

5. You loved “Wonderful Wednesdays.”

…though you didn’t really know why they were happening.

6. And won SongFest with a bunch of kids you just met.

7. But still had pretty much no school spirit.

8. And never attended any collegiate sporting events.

9. Probably because Emory was not your first choice.

Georgetown, Tufts, Cornell…you didn’t want to attend ANY of them.

10. And you had to constantly correct people who thought you attended Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University.


11. And Emerson…and Emory & Henry….

12. Still, you had a rivalry with Washington University in St. Louis

13. Even though they didn’t know about it.

14. You lived for the ping of a new email on LearnLink.

15. And definitely took advantage of the “History” option.

16. You attended a Ridgewood block party.

…and lost track of your friends immediately.

17. And went to Maggie’s on the reg.

….but you don’t remember it ever looking this clean or empty. Though you do remember those girls, or people who looked exactly like them, which was everyone…

18. You thought about going to The Velvet Room (because Jermaine Dupri told you to), but went to a wine bar instead.

19. You bought booze from Rocky’s.

20. When you were 19.

…and still pour one out in his memory.

21. You swore vengeance upon Checker Cabs.

22. But still used them to get to the airport to go home for the holidays.

23. You “lived” in Atlanta, but you didn’t really “live” in Atlanta.

24. And you certainly never used MARTA.

25. Unless you were going to Lenox or Phipps.

26. You lived in the county club known as Clairmont Campus.

27. You went to Everybody’s Pizza, even though you hated it.

28. You had a radio show on WMRE, and nobody listened.

….except your hall mates, who called in to make fun of you.

29. You have watched this video 20 times.

30. And are convinced that Emory students are better at being doctors, lawyers, teachers, scientists, consultants and foreign aid workers than rappers.

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