9 Stadium Names The Chicago White Sox Overlooked

The Chicago White Sox announced that their stadium name will be changed from U.S. Cellular Field (catchy) to the even more timeless "Guaranteed Rate Field." (um, what?) I've compiled some potential corporate candidates that Chicago obviously overlooked. (You're welcome.)

1. Tucks Medicated Cooling Pads Arena

Walgreens / Via walgreens.com

Because sitting through a double header doesn't have to hurt anymore. Now with soothing witch hazel!

2. Unicornacopia (The 'U')

Via vitamin-ha.com

Because nothing is sportier than sparkles, rainbows, and mythical, horned creatures. Shazaaam!

3. The Good Sense Trash Bag Center

Via dollartree.com

Something they are clearly lacking in the Sox management.

4. Budget Burials Memorial Field

Via reborn.cityhumor.com

When the club decides to call their season in as DOA.

5. Absolut Arena

Via drinkinginamerica.com

Now here's a name we can all get behind. Long live the drunk tank!

6. Talkin' Tofurky Field

Via vwordmarket.com

Get out of Chi-town with your Vegan garbage! Blasphemy! Just blasphemy!

7. The Herpes Simplex

Via anorak.co.uk

STD testing vouchers, free to the first 5,000 fans! #DeepDish

8. The Sklep Wedkarski Fart Center

Via anorak.co.uk

Because farts.

9. The Dollar Shave Clubhouse

Via anorak.co.uk

Joey D, for the win.