1. When it was that time of the month every single day:
"I'm probably just eating so much because I'm about to get my period," I say, every day of the month, 365 days a year.
2. When she got everything she wanted at Dairy Queen:
Tonight I couldn't decide what kind of ice cream I was in the mood for so I got both a sundae and a blizzard from Dairy Queen. 🤷🏼♀️
3. When she said what we were all thinking about getting pedicures:
Me getting a pedicure, wondering how no one else around me is ticklish or uncomfortable.
4. When she had a really intense workout:
I'm winded after putting a fitted sheet on my bed.
5. When she revealed her Lady Gaga obsession...
I really wish I could be friends with @ladygaga because I know she would give the best advice. 🙇🏼♀️
6. ...and gave her neighbors a private concert:
Giving my next door neighbors a good preview of my Lady GaGa repertoire tonight, from the comfort of my bath tub.
7. When she just wanted the simple things:
Just want to cuddle my dogs tbh. That's all I want.
8. When she was living Nintendo IRL:
The man in the car in front of me just threw a banana peel out the window... my Mario Kart memories are triggered
9. When she really could have used IMDb:
Spent a good 10 minutes today trying to remember the name of this guy. Don't know why-- there's no explanation. B… https://t.co/NoTPSsoKVL
10. When her mom gave her solid advice:
"Have fun today! smile! Dont say the F word! 😘" - says Mom
11. When her sister was a little too honest:
Showed my sister my new license photo saying "I look like shrek." She goes.. "you don't look like shrek. You look like the pig from shrek."
12. When she related to Ron Swanson in a serious way:
Me
13. When she came up with a pretty great invention, TBH:
Me: "Yes, hi, I would like to buy a white-noise machine for my brain, please." Person: "Ma'am, this is a Walmart, please leave."
14. When she celebrated like Lord Farquaad:
A picture of me ringing in the new year 🍸
15. When her sister needed everyone to hop off:
"Everyone needs to just hop off," says my 14 year old sister as she replies to all of her snapchats.
16. When she was totally doing just fine really:
17. When she had way better plans than Netflix and chill:
Taco Bell and chill?
18. When she listened to an important song from our past:
This song just came on my Spotify. Did I change it? FUCK NO.
19. When she related to this small, brilliant child:
Is this me?
20. When she had a great pitch for a talk show:
Tough Love with Lili Reinhart: a talk show where I tell people to get their heads out of their asses and other great advice.
21. When she wondered, "Would you lie with me and just forget the world?"
Isn't it strange.. that someone... somewhere out there in this world.. is still using Snow Patrol lyrics as their instagram selfie caption?
22. When she finally got the motivation to buy groceries...
Real footage of me realizing that I can't avoid going to the grocery store any longer:
23. ...and got exactly what she needed:
Fruity Pebbles are on sale---- made the trip so worth while.
24. When she had a disappointing dream, howbow dah?
Had a dream that I got in a verbal fight with the "Cash me Outside" girl and I lost. So disappointed in myself.
25. When she didn't give a fuck about your beauty standards:
Seriously, go fuck the idea of a "beach body." My ass is "beach body ready" 24/7 365 no matter what it looks like.
26. When she made the mistake of watching Marley & Me:
Well... just watched Marley & Me... looks like the rest of my day is shot to hell, gonna go crawl in bed and weep
27. And, finally, when she spoke this truth:
Lunchables are not JUST for kids, OKAY???????