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Just 16 Damn Funny Tweets About Being A Writer

"Being a writer is having a proofreading ability that increases by 1000% as soon as you hit 'submit'."

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Being a writer is just constantly googling 'synonyms for ______'

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She began that writing day as she began all writing days, putting her hair into a bun with office supplies.

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THINGS WRITERS STRESS ABOUT • not writing • actually writing • people reading it • people NOT reading it • whether you'll write anything as good as that last book??? • how to get time to write ALL THE THINGS • trying to fit snacks in their pockets

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My Roomba is going in the acknowledgements of my next book

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Me: *writes for hours* Me: THAT MUST HAVE BEEN SO MANY WORDS. At least half a million. Okay, okay, let's be realistic, it's probably only like ten thousand. Word count: 247 words https://t.co/hC5kjqreSa

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‘I am not a writer cliche,’ she says as she rinses her coffee mugs ‘We’re all so different,’ she notes as she stacks her pretty journals ‘Unique little unicorns,’ she sighs as she rearranges her bookshelf ‘Unpredictable,’ she concludes, logging on to twitter

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my novel is taking so long to write because i also have to write a decoy novel for my parents to read

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hell yeah im WRITING W R I am not writing T I N G

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i need one of those dog cones but for keeping me off the internet when i'm supposed to be writing

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Being a writer is having a proofreading ability that increases by 1000% as soon as you hit “Submit”.

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A page after the acknowledgements for people that have wronged you.

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Me, in theory: Avoid info dumps! Me, writing a first draft:

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WRITING ESSENTIALS: • coffee (to ward off sleep) • blanket (to be worn as a cape) • glitter (to throw in the faces of those who interrupt you)

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Being a writer means splintering your soul and hiding the pieces of it between the pages you write. Basically, my books are horcruxes.