I Rewatched "Jawbreaker" As An Adult And Had A Lot Of Thoughts
"I killed Liz. I killed the teen dream. Deal with it."
Recently I've been rewatching the movies I was obsessed with as a pre-teen and teen. I LOVED Jawbreaker at the time, but have put off revisiting it because I was very worried it might not have have stood the test of time. This week, I finally bit the bullet (or, er, jawbreaker). Here's how the experience of rewatching it went down...
1. It’s starting with Judy Greer’s voiceover. This is honestly her greatest role.
2. This hallway walk is iconic. THOSE OUTFITS!
3. They named that character Liz Purr just so Judy Greer could purrrrr through this voiceover, right?!
4. “She is gonna die!” I see what you did there.
5. This movie made me want to get a polaroid camera.
6. Oh god, remember how huge hoop earrings were? On multiple levels.
7. I bought a “foxy” necklace from Kmart because of this movie. I thought I was so cool.
8. This is such a great opening.
9. The colour palette and the soundtrack and the editing really take this movie to the next level.
10. The credits sequence, with the jawbreakers and the photo collages, is perfect.
11. Why is Julie not absolutely sobbing right now though? Like her best friend is dead?!?!
12. “You know what this means?” “You’re a shoe-in for prom queen?” Hahahahaha amazing.
13. “You are going to walk into that school and strut your shit down the hallway like everything is peachy fucking keen.” How do I still know this movie off by heart.
14. Ugh their outfits are freaking incredible.
15. Do girls actually dress like this in American high schools?!
16. Omg I never realised before that Carol Kane is the teacher.
17. Is it even a teen movie without a ~kooky~ teacher?
18. To be fair I had many ~kooky~ teachers in high school, actually.
19. That jock guy is gross.
20. Oh man I wanted Julie’s sunglasses so badly.
21. I just had a vivid flashback of quoting “maybe she was practising if you know what I mean” and doing that BJ gesture with my friends. I think we only understood, like, 40% of what it actually meant.
22. This movie was the first time I’d ever heard the word “kink” in a sexual context.
23. “Elizabeth Purr, the very picture of teenage perfection, obliterated by perversion.” This script is great.
24. Is it wrong that I’m cackling at them carrying Liz’s body around?
25. Won’t, like, their hair and fingerprints be all over her body though?
26. Ngl, I was such a Fern in high school.
27. Oooh a pretty flower with the creepy bug inside. How symbolic.
28. Fern was definitely in love with Liz, huh.
29. “I killed Liz, I killed the teen dream, deal with it!” I just tried to look so closely at her hand on the card, to see how she managed to accidentally record that, and it’s totally impossible. *cough*
30. The tension of Fern slowly making her way towards the room is done very well.
31. But, like, the girls knew she was headed to Liz’s house. Why didn’t one of them, you know, act as a lookout?
32. Rose McGowan seems like she’s having so much fun as Courtney. She’s brilliant in this role.
33. Blair Wardorf has got nothing on Courtney Shayne.
34. "She’s dead Fern. She died." Courtney really DGAF.
35. I love this fairy tale-esque sequence as Fern transforms into Vylette.
36. Side note: I named one of my neopets Vylette after this movie.
37. Fern looks SO different. I am very into her pretty outfit.
38. What kind of parents were away for their daughter’s birthday?
39. Why didn’t they close the door behind them?
40. That anorexia joke ain’t funny.
41. “Never send a rose unless dyed black as a warning.” I took this so seriously as a teen.
42. “Pay attention to details. Look at my nails. In junior high, I wore only pink. Now it makes me puke. So I changed. Rearranged. See? It's called Demented. No, seriously, the colour's called Demented.” I don’t know why, but this is the line I used to quote the most? I still think about it on the rare occasions I bother to paint my nails.
43. That guy kind of came from nowhere.
44. Oh my god Julie writing her phone number on his hand is giving me flashbacks.
45. “Time doesn’t erase things, people erases things.” Deep.
46. Remember when you had to put people on hold if you got another call?!
47. Remember actually speaking to people on the phone?!
48. I definitely studied this “big stick” scene. For, um, reasons.
49. I remember asking my friend what she meant by “don’t come”. Like, “did she not want him to follow her?!?!” Bless.
50. This scene where Julie is walking down the hallway and everyone is frozen around her is excellent.
51. Obsessed with Vylette’s all-pink wardrobe.
52. This guy has no discernible personality. He does have a cool car though.
53. Fern’s obsession with Liz’s freckles is borderline creepy.
54. Courtney’s style is so amazing.
55. Oh shit I forgot Marilyn Manson was in this.
56. Uggggh I’m so uncomfortable.
57. Ooft Vylette is such a bitch now.
58. “Sports and drama – it’s like plaids and stripes, they don’t mix.” Oh, so this is where all those “jock torn up because he secretly loves theatre” character struggles come from.
59. This guy just…gave Vylette a car? For one makeup sesh? Okay.
60. HOLY OMG Julie’s yellow glasses! What a time.
61. “Do you know how girls sometimes kidnap their girlfriends on their birthdays?” Ummmmm. No?
62. Oh shit she’s telling Zac everything.
63. Why is Courtney so mad right now? Just because Vylette’s getting more attention?
64. I am here for Vylette standing up to her.
65. Did Courtney slam her against that mirror hard enough to break the glass?!
66. That detective didn’t reveal enough information for Julie to so easily put all this together tbh.
67. YAS GO JULIE. TAKE COURTNEY DOWN.
68. “Some poor nameless son of a bitch thought he was getting lucky.” I meaaaaan he was also a creepy grown-ass adult getting it on with a teenager soooo…
69. THE DONNAS! OMG!
70. Courtney’s prom look is ICONIC.
71. I also remember loving Fern and Julie’s prom looks.
72. Ah, it just isn’t a ‘90s movie without some homophobia.
73. “Eat shit.” Amazing.
74. This scene of Courtney moving through the crowd and getting pelted is so damn good.
75. Rose McGowan’s finest work, honestly.
76. Did Courtney ever actually get arrested?! This will haunt me now.
77. This movie held up A LOT better than I thought it would. It was so much fun.