1.
Adult culture is just walking around constantly astounded by how much everything costs
2.
Birthday at 21: Takes 12 different shots from 12 different bars. Birthday at 37: Takes two different pain relievers because I literally hurt myself sleeping.
3.
didn’t feel like i was in my late 20s until this morning when my coworker asked me if i did anything fun this weekend and i earnestly said “yes i replaced my electronic toothbrush head”
4.
It's fun how when you become an adult you get real excited about buying yourself a new pack of hair elastics.
5.
9 yo me: wow I love my public library yes I’d like to check out 14 novels that are above my reading level. Be back next week Me now: wow I love my public library yes I would like to check out one—I believe it’s called a Bööke? I will be back in 3-5 business months
6.
You're not an adult until you have a cabinet full of Tupperware and every time you open it they all spill out and you can never find a matching lid for the one you want to use.
7.
Things I Was Disappointed To Find Out Were True As An Adult: 1. I do feel better when I eat salad vs snack food as a meal 2. 8 hrs of sleep really does help my mood 3. Sitting in a chair vs flopping on a couch is better for my productivity 4. Drinking plain water is essential
8.
Remember when you were little and you'd fall on the trampoline and everyone would keep jumping so you couldn't get back up? That's how adult life feels
9.
I remember the way I used to get excited whenever I received a letter addressed to me when I was younger but every time I receive one now I think “fucking what now”
10.
I'm an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me.
11.
Me as a kid: adults will know what to do! Me, and adult: the adultier adults will know what to do!
12.
My favorite childhood memory is my back not hurting
13.
I like adult crushes bc as a kid when someone was like “u totally have a crush on Jason” you’d b like “ME? A CRUSH? ON HIM? HOW DARE YOU SIR” and now it’s more like yeah and? what r u gonna gain from it
14.
FRIEND: so how are you? ME: I'm well, thanks! FRIEND: what's new? ME: not much! FRIEND: well, what have you been up to? ME: why are you doing this to me
15.
My vision board is just a picture of me sleeping.
16.
Afternoon me: Ooh, I can bake this salmon, do some potatoes, sautée some spinach and arugula. That’ll be good. Evening me: *eats a sleeve of thin mints*
17.
8-year-old: Why is it so boring? Me: What? 8: Everything. She's officially an adult.