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The Myth Of The Honeymoon "Phase"

Shouldn't forever be the honeymoon?

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We've all heard it at one point or another. Whether in a movie, directed at us or someone we know, or even from our own mouths. Seeing a new couple completely obsessed with each other and saying, "Aw, the honeymoon phase. They'll be in for a surprise when it's over."

But does this "Honeymoon Phase" even exist? Um of course, you argue, there are plenty of couples who break up after only a few weeks because of this!

Wrong. Well, not quite. Yes, there are plenty of couples who break up after a month or so of dating because they're no longer infatuated by the newness of it all. They wake up and realize "Oh boy, I can't have this in a long term partner" or "We aren't clicking like before" but this realization isn't the honeymoon phase, it's something different. This realization only happens when you aren't with the right person.

Every couple goes through struggles, whether it's right off the bat or months or years down the road. But going through struggles together doesn't mean the end of this "Honeymoon Phase." Because it's not a phase at all. When you're with the right person, your entire relationship will be a honeymoon.

Whether you believe in destiny or not, there are people who romantically work together better than others. There are a number of reasons for this other than destiny, but to put it simply: some people are right for each other, some people aren't. And this makes the difference between a honeymoon phase and a honeymoon world.

When first dating someone, you see all of their good parts and not many of their negative parts. Duh, right? At the beginning of a relationship, you make sure to shine a light on your strong suits. Eventually, when human flaws start to come out in a relationship, this is when the couple runs into trouble. But this does not mean the "honeymoon is over." This means the honeymoon is just beginning.

The most beautiful part of a relationship is when you reveal your flaws, have arguments over things that do or don't matter, and become fully vulnerable. Because working through this makes your relationship stronger, which brings you closer. And closer means you're on your honeymoon, whether it's 3 months, 3 years, or 3 decades in.

So when someone wakes up and thinks, "the honeymoon is over," this means they are realizing that they might not be with the right person. Because when it's right, the honeymoon will never be over. Through the good, the bad and the ugly.

Though I've known my boyfriend for three years, we've only been dating for about 2 and a half months. And yeah, we're in our honeymoon world. But with the vulnerabilities I've revealed already and the flaws we've exposed to each other, our honeymoon world isn't about to end. It's not a phase, it's our relationship. From the bottom of my soul, I know we were meant to be together. The fact that it's still early doesn't matter, because we are wholeheartedly in love. And love isn't a phase.

So maybe the honeymoon phase isn't quite a myth, but it's a misguided phrase. When you're with the right person, the honeymoon phase will last, well, forever.

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