23 Things That Would Make A Better Bachelor Than Juan Pablo
Chris Harrison's perfectly shaped thumb, ready to hand you roses week after week.
The sweat behind Chris Harrison's left knee; the promise of a hot and steamy life together.
Chris Harrison's beauteous left dimple, which will make an appearance every time he smiles and tells you how perfect you are.
Chris Harrison's sturdy right elbow, shaped just right for him to put his arm around you.
Chris Harrison's adorable philtrum which, like you, will spend an eternity grazing his lips.
The thing in Chris Harrison's left pocket which, like Chris, is thrilling because it is shrouded in enigma.
Chris Harrison's stunning poof which, like his love for you, will never go down.
This button, firm and secure, like a romance bound to last forever.
The light reflecting off Chris Harrison's nose, bright like his passion for a life with you.
Chris Harrison's chin, covered in just enough stubble to say, "I'm a man, but I am secure enough in my manliness not to grow a full beard."
Chris Harrison's pocket square, a mark of both sophistication and playfulness.
The tiny knuckle on Chris Harrison's right pinky toe, because Chris knows that the little things matter most.
Chris Harrison's clavicles, on which he would generously – nay, selflessly! – let you rest your head through countless sultry nights.
The space between Chris Harrison's two front teeth, a barely-there sliver through which he will whisper sweet nothings.
Chris Harrison's glistening forehead wrinkle. This is a thinking man. A man who worries. Primarily about you.
The makeup that rubbed off on Chris Harrison's jacket, proving that he is willing to sacrifice his own perfection for yours.
Chris Harrison's left sideburn. Because "left sideburn" is only a few words away from "I've never left your side."
Chris Harrison's missing hand, tucked away (if it exists), waiting for you to slip your own into.
This feather, standing loyally by his side, like you someday will.
Chris Harrison's bellybutton lint, which you will giggle coyly and pretend not to notice, as he holds you in his loving arms.
The glimmer in Chris Harrison's eye, twinkling at the sight of you, glimmering like your future together, sparkling like a fairytale ending.
Chris Harrison's freshly ironed pants, just crisp enough to say, "I'm wearing pants now, baby, but in our relationship, we'll share the pants."
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