1. We’ve got no clue how to use sun protection.
Like, literally none.
2. And we look bloody terrible on the beach.
3. We still haven’t figured out how to do ‘festival cool’
4. And we do terribly cruel things to the heads of our young.
5. In fact, to our heads generally.
6. We make terrible holiday decisions.
Places where the worst kind of humans surface.
Truly, the worst.
7. We have to witness celebrity cretins in their bikinis.
8. And we spend all year waiting for sun, and then we get too pissed to see it.
I mean, really.
9. And before you know it…
10. Maybe next year?
- ISIS has claimed responsibility for a bombing that killed at least 80 people in Afghanistan Saturday.
- Hillary Clinton made her debut with VP pick Tim Kaine, who dipped into Spanish and spoke on support for immigration reform and gun control.
- The gunman who killed at least 10 people at a Munich, Germany mall was an 18-year-old "obsessed" with mass shootings, police said.