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Welcome to another edition of “Can You Get Through This Post Without Spending $50?”
I am your host, Jeff. The game is simple. Try to make it through this entire post without buying something. The list may seem like it’s random, but it’s not.
Don’t plan to buy anything? That’s OK! Stay and enjoy my groanworthy jokes! I italicize each pun for maximum cringe.
Come up with a better pun? Post in the comments! I DO READ ALL THE COMMENTS!
DANGER! PUNS AHEAD! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! GOOD LUCK, ALL! 😀
1. An easy to load toilet paper holder that I can't stop watching.
2. A keyboard nebula decal so you can feel like you're typing in space.
3. A steam ship pot cover that appears to be seaworthy.
4. A coffee bag with a built-in pour-over for no mess coffee at a picnic.
5. Vortex chain toys to help restless hands keep busy.
6. A laundry soap station so you don't have to keep tilting and moving the jug around.
7. Nail polish that changes its color depending on the temperature.
8. A pirate costume that can fit both your cat *and* your dog.
9. A Triwizard Cup that is TO DIE FOR.
10. A rotating pupil alarm clock that'll always have its eyes on the time.
11. Ultra easy to set up christmas tree lights to cut out all the bullshit.
12. A crab multi-tool that has nine uses in one!
13. A sparrow salad bowl set that's pretty fucking cute.
14. An adjustable calendar that lasts for 50 years.
15. A hangry kit for desperate times.
16. Beads that you can use to add ~texture~ to your nails.
17. Emoji pillows that you are sort-of on the fence about... but are now thinking, "They might be perfect for someone."
18. A microwavable s'more maker for when fire is not an option.
